Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Meeting of the Minds

Today I witnessed a meeting of the minds. There was a problem right away! No one showed up!

I was sitting with the best company I could muster on short notice - myself. I was engrossed in the Cheeseburger Club Platter before me. The groceries, laden with fats, carbs and calories, would fill my tank for the remainder of the work day. As I am wont to do while I'm partaking of sustenance, I was contemplating what I might be posting to my Blog that evening.
....Source material can appear when you least expect it. Exhibit A walked through the door into the Sub Shop in the form of three women. They were young, I'd guess in their middle twenties, and pleasing to the eye. They were each dressed in short skirts and heels. None of them had neglected to display an ample amount of cleavage. I took a healthy mouthful of my sandwich to insure that my admiration of the scenery would not be interrupted by the need for more intake.

(I am prepared to duck a myriad of objects thrown at the screen from any female out there who takes exception to my actions and considers them as chauvinistic.)

The triumvirate clip-clopped to the counter on the ceramic floor tiles. Feigned perhaps, but each looked my way and smiled before turning their eyes to the menu board. Their arched backs, aiming their cannonry, made certain that the man at the counter had their undivided attention. The table they chose to colonize was the table next to mine. Soon enough their table was covered with an assortment of salads, Syrian breads and bottled waters.
....It wasn't long before a dialog about the office dominated their repast. I didn't need to eavesdrop to learn that they worked for an insurance company in the office building three blocks away. Their animated discourse at first centered on the creature comforts and benefits that the company executives enjoyed but were not available to the staff. "Why should the executive lavoratories have leather sofas while the peons had to endure cloth-covered ones?"

....One asked the other two if they had read the e-mail she'd sent them. The first to reply said, "No. I've been too busy. Can you imagine, they gave me a claims report to file before I even had a chance to get a cup of coffee?" I kid you not, the other two let out a gasp of shock. It made me realize that I have been grossly misinformed about the job description of Claims Clerks.

(Again I am prepared to duck a barrage of staplers and tape dispensers, this time from any employee of an insurance company.)

It has been almost 14 years since my exodus from the office place. I had forgotten about the trials and tribulations of the lowly office worker. Been there. Done that. I miss the camaraderie, but I do not miss the bullshit! Now, here is something I could've used to amuse myself during the countless meetings and seminars I sat through in my twenty years tenure in an office environment.
....I wonder how a fellow blogging buddy,John would like this game for all the meetings he must surely have to attend? Oops! He just might be heading up some of those meetings.

I have vague memories of Casual Fridays because the privilege lastled for only a month. The practice was discontinued in short order. They say that when you give someone an inch, they'll take a mile. Almost as soon as the policy was announced, several people went overboard.
....The lovely lady seen in the picture far exceeds the way some of my co-workers dressed on those few Fridays. A sight such as this would not be conducive to keeping one's lunch in its resting place.

(I find myself ducking a salvo of printers and monitors from those who would dress like this and think they look hot.)

I finished my lunch and nodded adieu to that trio of suffering office workers, who were by now discussing the faults of the other women in their office. I felt good inside, not because I was satiated, but that they wanted me. Alas, I had to get back on the job. They weren't going to get lucky that afternoon.

(I was knocked senseless, having failed to duck the enormous copier machine that was hurled by my entire reading audience.)



S said...

U are too much! LOL

Ivy the Goober said...

I get to be casual all the time now. We used to have casual Fridays, but now it's that way every day. I love it. But I could definitely play that BINGO game. There are some new terms that really grate on my nerves when I hear them. Don't remember them all but I have them jotted down at work.

Peter said...

Ya gotta watch out for those copiers Mile, and entire readerships too.

Karen said...

e GaDs!!

FnQueen said...

Damn Mikey two twenty somethings? I'm surprised you didn't choke on your sandwich while ogling boobies! :P LOL

Laina said...

If they minded you looking, they wouldn't dress that way. I just had this conversation with my boss last week.

Duke_of_Earle said...

Speaking of "hurled"... that "casual Fiday picture... mmmmph!

Thanks for the plug, oh suaviloquent one! Enjoyed the meeting. I avoid office meetings if at all possible, but the lunch counter kind, as you described, can be fun.

And fnqueen must have snoozed through part of the meeting. I clearly remember you said THREE twenty-somethings.


Sar said...

*Clip clop, clip clop* - just stopped by to say hello and have a laugh. :) *clip clop, clip clop...*

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Yes, and I got another one in reserve in case you run any more pictures like that of Latesha.

Pirate said...

After 20 years of working in the office environment you seem to have it down pretty good.

r.e.wolf said...

I ain't throwing anything, I'm pulling up a chair to read more!

FnQueen said...

Naw Duke I just figured Mikey must have been hallucinating and was seeing more twenty something boobies than there really were! LOL