Sunday, September 16, 2007

Rejected Peanuts Specials


We learn about VD in:
"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"

Charlie and the little red-headed girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:
"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"

Is Linus gay?
"ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"

Charlie moves back to his house in East LA in:
"OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?"

See how the Peanuts Gang deals with sexual pressures in:
"NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"

Discover a father's forbidden love in:
"IT'S OUR LITTLE SECRET, CHARLIE BROWN"

Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:
"IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"

What goes on in the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:
"GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"

Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in:
"ROLL US A FAT ONE, CHARLIE BROWN!"

Charlie's little sister Sally walks in and catches him "choking the chicken."
"YOU'LL GO BLIND, CHARLIE BROWN!"

Charlie Brown gets his first job in:
"WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while stealing social security checks and stripping cars in:
"GO BLAME SOCIETY, CHARLIE BROWN"

Peppermint Patty 'goes to town' on Marcie in:
"WHO NEEDS MEN, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Charlie gets an AOL account and stays up all night long in:
"WELCOME!... YOU HAVE MAIL, CHARLIE BROWN"

The peanuts gang learns about death in:
"WHY ISN'T LINUS MOVING, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Charlie Brown learns the pain of a sex change in:
"YOU LOOK DIFFERENT, CHARLIE BROWN"

Charlie Brown learns about cyber sex in:
"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Snoopy goes to town on Charlies leg in:
"YOUR DOG REALLY LOVES YOU, CHARLIE BROWN"

Charlie Brown joins a fanatically religious cult:
"IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, CHARLIE BROWN"

The Peanuts gang learns about self-stimulation in:
"WHY ARE MY PALMS SO HAIRY, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Charlie Brown learns prostitutes are trouble in:
"WHERE'S MY MONEY, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Charlie Brown learns about STD's in:
"THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE, CHARLIE BROWN."

Charlie Brown learns about the consequences of prison in:
"DON'T DROP YOUR SOAP, CHARLIE BROWN."

Charlie Brown learns about suicide in:
"GOOD-BYE, CHARLIE BROWN."

Charlie Brown learns about pornography in:
"WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING, CHARLIE BROWN?"

Charlie Brown learns about tax fraud in:
"HERE COMES THE IRS, CHARLIE BROWN."

No.1110

16 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:04 AM

    OMG, I'm laughing so hard my sides ache! That is so twisted and yet so hysterical! Thanks for sharing!

    Is Linus gay?
    "ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN" made me laugh the ahrdest - I don't know why - LOL

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ROFLMAO!

    My personal favorite...
    Charlie Brown learns about the consequences of prison in:
    "DON'T DROP YOUR SOAP, CHARLIE BROWN."

    Take care and have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Those are ALL funny, Hale. Nice post. I am giggling still.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hehehe...those are all good. Hard for me to pick a favorite.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous5:35 PM

    Soonafter Charlie Brown takes a job as a mortician's assistant, Linus finds him 'working' all alone at the morgue one night in..."YOU'RE A SICK F*CK, CHARLIE BROWN!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous5:42 PM

    The gang learns discovers the perils of testifying in open court against a narcotics dealer in..."YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN!"

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous5:50 PM

    One morning in the bathroom at school, Linus finds it necessary to defend his sexual orientation in..."I HAVE A WIDE STANCE, CHARLIE BROWN" (the unreleased prequel to "ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN")

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous5:58 PM

    Sally teaches Linus the hard truth behind the old adage regarding 'a woman scorned' (with a bit of help from the police) in..."SHE SAID SHE WAS EIGHTEEN, CHARLIE BROWN!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous6:01 PM

    The gang finally confronts Schroeder about his rampant homophobia in..."IT'S NOT NATURAL, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous6:15 PM

    After a string of bad choices, Lucy becomes involved in a hostage situation in..."PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6:17 PM

    Following months of increasingly erratic behavior, the gang finally confronts Chuck about his drug problem in..."COCAINE'S A HELL OF A DRUG, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous6:22 PM

    As part of a school project, the gang all volunteer to help the RNC in Florida during the 2000 presidential election in..."'SWING STATE' MY ASS, CHARLIE BROWN!"

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous6:45 PM

    Charlie Brown fails to find acceptance overseas, despite high hopes for the student exchange program in..."YOU'RE THICK AS SHIT, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous6:52 PM

    Filling in for Lucy at her psychiatric stand, it becomes clear that Chuck is in over his head when an ill-advised excahnge with Franklin brings once dormant emotions to the surface regarding the murder of his abusive parents in..."YES THEY DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous7:06 PM

    Chuck learns that 'paying for it' just isn't the same in..."NO KISSING ON THE MOUTH, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete
  16. Anonymous7:30 PM

    The gang help police solve a string of serial rapes in..."IT'S YOUR DNA, CHARLIE BROWN"

    ReplyDelete