Friday, April 21, 2006
One day at the White House:
Receptionist: Mr. President, Hu is here to see you.
George Bush: I don't know. You're the receptionist.
Bush: What? Oh yes, I am Listening to Dolly Parton on my iPod.
Rcpt: O...Kay! Your 10 am appointment is here, sir.
Bush: (Blank stare) Who is my first appointment?
Rcpt: Yes, he is.
Bush: Look, is my first appointment here?
Rcpt: Yes, Sir. He's in the lobby.
Bush: ...And who is it?
Rcpt: Yes, Sir.
Bush: Why can't you just tell me who's out there?
Rcpt: That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mr. President.
Bush: You've been trying to tell me who's out there?
Rcpt: Yes, I have.
Bush: So tell me already!
Bush: You! Is there anyone else here?
Rcpt: No, Sir. He's alone.
Bush: Who is alone?
Rcpt: Yes. There's no one with him.
Bush: There's no one with who?
Rcpt: Whom, Sir.
Bush: Uh ... Okay. Whom's with him?
Rcpt: Who, Sir.
Bush: Tell me, what's on the list for the name of my first appointment?
Rcpt: Oh no, Sir. Watson's the second appointment. Hu's first.
Bush: Why are you bringing up the second appointment?
Rcpt: You mentioned his name, Mr. President.
Bush: Who's name?
Rcpt: No Sir.
Bush: (Blank Stare) Look, you have a list of names there of my appointments for the day ... Right?
Rcpt: Yes, of course, Mr. President.
Bush: Now if I were to tell you to send in the first person on that list, who would come in first?
Rcpt: That's correct.
Bush: So, what's on the list for his name?
Rcpt: Watson's on second. Hu's on first.
Bush: I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.
Rcpt: ...And I told you, Hu's just outside the door, Sir!
Bush: Who's here?
Rcpt: Yes! He's been waiting twenty minutes now.
Bush: Who is waiting?
Rcpt: (Sigh) Yes, he is.
Bush: Let's try something else. Most people come here to my office looking for funds. Am I right?
Rcpt: That's right, Mr. President.
Bush: Let's suppose that my 10 o'clock appointment out there in the lobby convinces me to allocate his funds. I will make the check payable to ... Who?
Bush: I mean, who gets the money?
Rcpt: Correct, Sir ... Every dollar!
Bush: Why at this time everyday, do I get a headache?
Rcpt: Wyatt is the third one, Mr. President.
Bush: Huh? We're on the third appointment now? I still haven't the seen the first one. What's on the list for them?
Rcpt: No, Watson's on second.
Bush: How come you're talking about the second one again?
Rcpt: You said his name again.
Bush: Who's name?
Rcpt: No, not his name. Watson's name.
Bush: Let me guess ... Who's on first?
Rcpt: Yes! You finally got it right, Sir!
Bush: I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about!
Rcpt: Oh no, he's not here until tomorrow!
Bush: (Considers reaching for the pistol in the top drawer)
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 12:46 AM