Hale's Contrived Word of the Day:
Punder - v.; to sit and think, to muse over a groan producing pun.
Punder this from Phils Phun:
So I heard the strangest thing on the radio yesterday.
It was an interview of a guy whose hobby was eating endangered birds.
He went into great detail of all the meals that he'd had -
bald eagle stew, deep fried condor wings, breast of kestrel, that kind of thing.
The interviewer then asks him,
"So have you eaten any egrets at all?"
"Egrets?" he said
"I've had a few. But then again, too few to munch on."
Here's a joke I also borrowed from Phil:
A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. While searching around for them, he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room, and he found himself completely naked in the halls of the world''s most powerful military organization HQ.
But, luckily, no one was around to see him. So, he ran as fast as he could to the elevator. When it arrived, it was empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and got in. When the doors opened on his floor, there was no one waiting outside.
"This must be my lucky day," he said to himself. He was now only a few yards from his office.
Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. He heard the General''s voice. There was no way he'd make it to his door in time, so he ducked into the closest office available, and found himself in the laboratory for Research & Development. The Head Scientist looked up from one of her experiments with puzzled interest.
The soldier thought quickly, stood up straight and saluted. "I am here to report the partial success of the Personal Invisibility Device," he said.
The Head Scientist said, "You mean the shrink-ray, don't you?"
A poor accountant who hit his wife over the head.
Then one night while he was burying her in the soil
Son of a bitch if he didn't strike oil!
(Black gold ... Texas tea)
Well the next thing you know, Jed's a millionaire
And his lawyer said, Jed you'd better get away from there
New Zealand's the place you ought to be
So he bought a yacht and sailed off to sea.
(Kiwis ... Lonely sheep)