Sunday, May 29, 2011

Remember: Never Forget

These Editorial Cartoonists Can Say It Much better Than I

(The following editorial cartoons were taken from Caigle Cartoon Index)


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Butterfly Dreams (58)

(A sequel to The Strange Story of Mr. Black and Ms Gray.)

They had died when helping thwart a plan to undermine the government of the United States. Now Ben and Susan have returned from the dead and they must bring that government down. Standing in their way are Michael Black and Michelle Gray, the bodies of whom they now occupy.
-(The Story begins HERE)-
The Enemy Within

"Immortal? You can't be serious!" O'Day yelped.

King's solemn glare was a declaration that he was indeed serious. He spoke with icy deliberation, "You should realize that Gates, as President, has at his immediate disposal highly placed individuals whom he can easily manipulate to do his bidding. These include the Vice President, a handful of senators, high-ranking military leaders, and the heads of several agencies."

"All of whom are past recipients of the neural implants," I added bitterly.

"Correct." he responded. He cleared his throat and paused to study those of us in the room. "Let me hypothesize for a moment. Suppose that in next November's primary Addams feels that he will not win the nomination ..."

"Good grief," O'Day resounded, "he would be able to influence the party to select someone he has in his back pocket."

I shook my head at the police sergeant and uttered, "I'm afraid you're missing the bigger picture, Brock. He will ..."

Rosie stepped forth interrupting me, "Regardless of the nominee ... regardless of Presidential election results ... he will only have to transfer his mind into that person. Unless we are able to stop him, he is in a position to become a perpetual President of the United States."

"Jesus!" O'Day yelped. "When he shows up, why don't I just shoot the bastard?"

"Do you really want to go down in history as the man who assassinated the President?" Baxter reasoned aloud.

"No. No I don't," O'Day replied. He looked into his wife's eyes, "Faye, I don't really want to shoot your step-father either."

"I know," she nodded, "but as far as I'm concerned ... he's dead anyway."

Rosie arose from her chair next to Faye and walked into the center of the room. She raised her hands to her temples and whispered, "They're here now. They are on the street in front of the building."

Both Michelle and I stared wide-eyed as Rosie's thoughts penetrated our own. "Julius, David, there is a door in the back of the convenience store ..."

"Rosie?" I muttered. "You're leading them right to us?"

She seemed to ignore my words and turned to both Baxter and O'Day. Without speaking she bowed her head. The two men, their eyes appearing glazed, stepped forth and produced pistols from their pockets. Falling in on either side of her they leveled the weapons menacingly at the rest of us.

"Rosie?" Stu Jankowski sputtered. "You? You're the enemy within?"

"Enough chatter," Baxter shouted. "All of you into the next room."

At that same moment the door to the stairway swung open to reveal David and President Addams. From his swagger it was obvious that Gates was in complete charge of Addams' mind and body. David's eyes were as glazed as those of O'Day and Baxter.

Addams/Gates was grinning from ear to ear and gave a victorious thumbs-up gesture to Rosie. "I gotta hand it to you, it worked. Getting them all together in one place ... here ... was a stroke of brilliance!"

Her response was just a weak grin and she seemed to tremble when she spoke, "We must get to work. I'm growing weak. I can't hold them much longer."

"You heard her, people," Baxter snapped. "Into the next room ... now!"

"Jeremy ... Brock," I pleaded, "you can't let this happen. We've got to stop them."

The barrel of O'Day's pistol grazed the side of my head. He kept the gun elevated near my face and sneered, "Wake up and smell the coffee, Michael. It's over and you've lost!"

One by one we were marched into the next room. I gasped as I looked upon a row of consoles like those that had lined the inner bulkhead of the destroyed aircraft. At each one of the consoles lie the neural headsets.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Gates barked, "have a seat at the stations and kindly place those headsets upon your pretty little heads."

To be continued ...

Rosie's Revenge


Sunday, May 15, 2011

Cletis Clyde's Mem-wires

Howdee, folks. Cletis Clyde here.

I was a-thinkin' that someday I jest might try to write down some of my mem-wires. So whilst I was a-thinkin', I got to wonderin' what rememberances I would want to jot down in a book. I reckon I should start wiffin my days when I was little.

When I was a youngin' I used to walk into class at school every morning with a black eye. After a while my teacher got worried and asked me about it.

"Cletis, why do you come to school every day with a black eye? Are you getting into fights?"

I answered, "Our house is very small, miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep on the same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Cletis you sleeping?'

"When I said, "No" he slapped my face and gave me a black eye."

So the teacher says to me, "Tonight when your father asks again, keep dead quiet and don't answer".

The following morning when I came to school my eye was fine, so the teacher breathed a sigh of relief.

But the day after that I came back with two black eyes.

Alarmed the teacher asked, "My goodness Cletis, why the black eye again?"

I told her, "Mam, Dad asked me again, 'Cletis are you sleeping?'...and I shut up and kept dead still. Then my father and my mother started moaning (you know) at the same time. Mom was breathing heavy, and kicking her legs up and squealing like a hyena on the bed.

Then my father asked my mother, 'Are you coming?' Then my mom said, 'Yes I'm coming, are you coming too?' My dad answered 'Yes'.

They don't usually go anywhere without me so I said, 'Wait for me...'"

Then they is the time that I looked into a mirror for the very firs' time. You see' it was like this, my uncle was always a-sayin' that my paw an' maw was jest about the ugliest couple in the hills. I guess my paw believed him and 'cause of that he said we could never have any mirrors in our house.

After living way back in the remote hills of West Virginia all my life, I decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores I picked up a mirror, and not knowing what it was I looked in it.

Not ever having seen one before, I was surprised at the image staring back at me. I said, "How about that! Here's a picture of my Paw."

So I done bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of the old man, but on the way home I remembered that my wife didn't like my father a'tall. So I hung it up in the barn so's she wouldn't see it.

Afterwards, every morning before I would wander there and look at it. Then I'd go in there in the afternoon and then again a-fore suppertime.

My wife began to get suspicious 'bout all my many trips to the barn. One day she followed me out to the barn and found me lookin' in the mirror.

She shoved me aside and when she looked into the mirror, she screamed, "So that's the ugly bitch you's been runnin' around with."

I 'spose I could put down a few lines about when I was a-datin' a-fore I got hitched. What book of mem-wires don't have stuff 'bout courtin' and a-sparkin'?

A while back, when I was considerably younger, I picked up this purty gal at her parents' house down the holler a bit from where I lived.

I really fancied her and wanted to impress her. I'd scraped together some money to take her to a nice fancy restaurant.

Hell's bells iffin she didn't up and order the most expensive items on the menu. She musta thought I was made of money cause she got some champagne, shrimp cocktail, and lobster.

I asked her, "Does your maw feed you like this when you eat at home?"

"No," she replied. "but my mother's not expecting me to get on my knees in front of her fly either."

What can I say? I asked her if she wanted dessert.

I remember the time that I learned that a feller can meet some gals by a-ridin' on a bus.

I was on a bus one day, when this purty young woman sat opposite me. Tarnation iffin she didn't start to breast feed her baby right there in the seat next to me!

"Come on, eat up, or I'll give it to that man over there," she says to the baby.

I don't have to tell you that sure got my 'tenshun.

Ten minutes later, she is still trying to feed the baby and says, "Come on, or mummy will give it to that man over there."

Well I looked over to the woman and says, "For heaven's sake missus, will you make your mind up. I should've got off this bus 3 stops ago!"

I think I would like fer my mem-wires to show that I'm really quite a romantic feller.

One night after a long days barbeque, I was a-sitting with my wife on the back porch. I was jest relaxin' wiffin' a cold Carlings in hand.

I felt that life didn't get no better than that and so I said, “I love you.”

My wife piped up, “Is that you, or the beer talking?”

I answered, “It’s me ... talking to the beer.”


Friday, May 13, 2011

Butterfly Dreams (57)

(A sequel to The Strange Story of Mr. Black and Ms Gray.)

They had died when helping thwart a plan to undermine the government of the United States. Now Ben and Susan have returned from the dead and they must bring that government down. Standing in their way are Michael Black and Michelle Gray, the bodies of whom they now occupy.
-(The Story begins HERE)-
An Immortal President

Michelle appeared dazed but it was evident to me that she was lost deep in thought. She was trying to digest one more missing piece of a life she'd never known, of a life she could have never known.

Our minds embraced for the briefest of moments. I sensed an assurance in her thoughts that she understood that it was not the time to dwell on the revelations of the past.

"David ... of course," Michelle whispered. "He's been right there, under our noses all along. He was working for Gates at the New Hampshire facility when he helped us ..."

"...Then he went to work for us," I added. I turned to face Jordan but deliberately addressed the Bishop King persona, "He's been working for you, hasn't he?"

There was a subtle nod of his head in acknowledgement. "I suppose you could think of David as a double agent of sorts. He has been able to slip seamlessly between both operations, ours as well as those of Gates."

"Well, since he now has him as a hostage," barked O'Day, "Gates must realize where David's loyalties lie. Don't forget, David tried to sabotage his operations back at the airfield."

"David is the least of our concerns," Rosie interjected.

"Yes," King grimaced, "there is another whose loyalties will be called into question."

I cast a wary eye in the direction of Faye. Her allegiance to Gates, her step-father, had not been a secret to anyone present. Yet, her activities of late had been puzzling on several occasions. It was possible that she might be playing both ends from the middle. One thing was certain however, Faye had been looking out for her own interests.

She sat unmoving for a few moments staring at her hands which were folded in her lap. Aware that everyone was watching her she shook her head and muttered, "I don't like what he's doing. It's wrong! I'm not going to help him." She then looked up and implored, "You have to believe me!"

Rosie slipped her arm about her shoulders and declared, "Faye, my dear sister, I know that it is not you. No, there is another. There is one who stands to gain much should we fail."

"That person," King announced, "if successful, will insure that Julius Gates will remain in power. In effect, he will become an immortal President!"

To be continued

The Enemy Within


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Smashing Rube Goldberg

I can't say much positive about the group or the music ...

But I LOVE the creative Rube Goldberg machinizations!

№ 2126

Tuesday, May 03, 2011


IMPORTANT NOTICE: All mini-marts, convenience stores, 7-11s, & many motels will be closed this week, due to a death in the family. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause !!!!!!!

The above image is a screen shot that I couldn't make clear. Anyway - it is Osama bin Laden's last Facebook entry:

"BRB. Someone's at the door."

And the "LIKE" was clicked by: the Navy Seals

Who Really Got bin Laden.

How Did They really Find Him?

Multiple Choice

(a) Jehova's Witnesses revealed location when he refused to buy a Bible

(b) Whereabouts reported when he wouldn't pay for Girl Scout cookies

(c) Reported by followers because he refused to bathe (U.S. fixed this.)

(d) Turned in by his landlord because he was arrears in his rent

Boeing Letter to Osama

№ 2125

Sunday, May 01, 2011

Editorial Toon Tribute To bin Laden's Demise

I'll close with a couple of jokes and a funny pic.

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.


Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of Chardonnay."