Friday, October 31, 2008

a POODLE DOODLES Halloween

a POODLE DOODLES Halloween



A Perfect Costume

A black man and his wife were going to a Halloween party in a couple of days.

So the husband tells his wife to go to the store and get costumes for them to wear.

When he comes home that night he goes into the bedroom and there laid out on the bed is a Superman costume.

The husband yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Superman? Take this back and get me something else I can wear."

The next day the wife, not too happy, returns the costume and gets a replacement.

The Husband comes home from work goes to the bedroom, and there, laid out on the bed, is a Batman costume.

He again yells at his wife, "What are you doing? Have you ever heard of a black Batman? Take this back and get me something I can wear to the costume party!"

The next morning his irate wife goes shopping.

When the husband comes home again from work, there laid out on the bed are three items: one is a set of three white buttons, the second is a thick white belt, and the third item is 2 x 4.

The husband yells at the wife, "What the hell are these for?"

The wife yells back, "Take your clothes off. You can put the three white buttons on the front of you and go as a domino. If you don't like that one, you can put the white belt on and go as an Oreo. And if you don't like THAT one, you can stick the 2 x 4 up your ass and go as a fudgesicle."

Aarrggh!

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party.

He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note.

"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says: "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part."

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a scathing letter of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads: "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel.

Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a Candy Apple!"


Halloweenies

Ladies Pick the Costume That Describes Your Man

(Click each image to embiggen)



(Images Left to right: Cock Out; Hung Like Horse; Snake Charmer; A Prick)


№ 1511

8 comments:

Jack K. said...

LMAO

Hope your Halloween was a happy one.

Hale McKay said...

&#9786

I trust you didn't OD on the candy.

Christina said...

LOL!!! Hope you didnt eat too much candy!!!

Mushy said...

Now that's funny!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Those are truly great jokes. Wish I had found them, that's how good they were....

Hale McKay said...

Hoss,

Now I'd call that an accomplishment - actually finding a joke before you found it.

Hale McKay said...

Christina,

No, I didn't each too much. In fact, I did not have a single piece of candy.

Scout's honor.

Hale McKay said...

Mushy,

Thanks. Glad you got a laugh out of it.