" There are 3 kinds of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those
" If you need me, I'll be on my pedestal."
" Guess which of the 7 Dwarfs I think you are?"
" I'm a recovering workaholic. I haven't lifted a finger in years."
"This is not a beer gut, it's a protective covering for my rock-hard abs."
"On the mark...Get set...Go away!"
"Did the wizard ever get back to you about that brain?"
"I'm so confused ! Wait...Maybe I'm not!"
"Warning! I have gas and I know how to use it."
"With a body like this, who needs hair?"
"...This is the part where I nod and act like I am listening."
"I can fix anything! Where's the duct tape?"
"I used to think drinking was bad for me...so I gave up thinking."
"You say tomato ... I say vodka."
"To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential."
"Same nightmare - different day."
"Warning ... drinking may cause girth defects."
"Drink coffee ... do stupid things faster with more energy."
"Every one laughed when I jumped up to dance ... how was I to know I was
sitting under the table at the time?"
It should be noted here that I do not claim to have created any of the above. They all have been seen by me on tee-shirts, bumper stickers, signs, etc., and in magazines and catalogs. You might find them on coffee cups and baseball caps also.