Thursday, April 14, 2005

Alien Passports

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~ Let's see if I got this right, everyone must have a valid passport to enter the U.S.? Even if they are wanting to enter from Canada and Mexico, they must have a valid passport? Now, this also includes someone who just left the U.S. yesterday for a brief visit to Montreal or Tijuana? This also applies to someone returning from a vacation in Bermuda?
~ Well, I am glad to see that they have us, the citizens covered. I suppose this must apply to illegal aliens already here in the States. If we American citizens need a passport, then surely illegal aliens must also. Man, can you imagine how long the passport lines are going to be? Maybe they will have two lines: one for citizens, and another for illegals.
~ If I were to hop over the border into Mexico for some ..ahem.. partying or a tattoo in Tijuana, I would need a passport to get back across the border into the U.S. of A. Okay, I can accept that. It makes sense in the age of terrorism. On the other hand, this would also have positive effects on keeping non-citizens in check. Without a valid passport, they would not be able to re-enter America. Uh, question: how were they getting in here in the first place? Couldn't they just keep doing what they have been doing to get here in the first place? Why would they want to wait in a line to get a passport? I would think that status quo would work best for them. Correct?
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~ (Scene: Mexico at U.S. border Customs check point)
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~ Customs Agent: Okay, Mr. ..uh.. Muhammad? Your passport seems to be in order. What brings you to the U.S.? What is the nature of your visit?
~ Suspicious Arab: My mission is to blow up a bomb at a major spoting event.
~ Customs Agent: Very good. Have you anything to declare?
~ Suspicious Arab: No. All the supplies I need to build my explosive device are on sale at Wal-Mart this week.
~ Customs Agent: Very good. Here's your passport. Enjoy your stay in the United States.
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~ (Scene: Canada at U.S. border Customs check point)
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~ Customs Agent: Okay, Mr. ..uh.. Abdullah? Your passport seems to be in order. But you really should spell your name on the passport the same as on your other documents. What brings you to U.S.? What is the nature of your visit?
~ Suspicious Arab: My mission is to recruit your college students for Al-Qaeda training. Also, I have been accepted to take course to learn to fly Boeing 747.
~ Customs Agent: Very good. Have you anything to declare?
~ Suspicious Arab: No. All of my explosives and anthrax samples were sent Fed-Ex last week to my cousin in Washington, D.C.
~ Customs Agent: Very good. Enjoy your stay in the United States.
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~ All of this is exaggerated, of course, only a satire. I just hope our Homeland Security isn't paying too much attention to the citizenry, instead of watching out for potential threats. I would like to see more effort put into finding all the illegals that are here in this country now!
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~No.107

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