Saturday, May 14, 2005

A Blog a Day Keeps the Proctor Away

I feel compelled to make at least one posting everyday. By and large I have been successful, with only a few days having passed without a post. Those that have been posted for posting sake are hardly worthy of praise. More times than not, I err on the side of quantity rather than quality. Oh well, so sue me!
Just a Thought!
If it's true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, then surely consuming a whole can of prunes must keep the Proctologist away! (Like I said, just a thought.)
Blonde Is As Blonde Does
Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson came up with an answer to "How many blondes does it take to read a menu?" According to Anderson, Miss Hilton threw a temper tantrum the last time the two dined together. She yelled, "I hate reading! Someone tell me what's on the menu!" Pamela refused her request. Apparently if Paris couldn't pronounce it, she wasn't about to eat it.
Movie On Up!
Coming to a theater near you: Those Daisy Duke cut-offs look pretty good on Jessica Simpson in The Dukes of Hazzard movie due out on Aug. 5. But I think General Lee was the best actor on the set.
~ On July 22, Billy Bob Thorton tries to coach a new batch of Bad News Bears. If the language is anything like Bad Santa, the kids will have to wait for the DVD before they can see it.
~ How's this for a catchy film title, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants ? From the book of the same name, it is to be released on June 1.
~ You gotta be kidding me! Cedric the Entertainer as The Honeymooners' Ralph Kramden? Give me a grenade... Pow! Right to the moon!
Remake This!
Seeing the trailer for Monster-in-Law, I was struck with an epiphany! If they are going to continue the trend of remaking movies, why not update Barbarella ? I do believe Jennifer Lopez could also make a blind angel fly.
I just like the words in the Spookie Daly Pride song Personal Ad Song , and here are some of them: I'm not very handsome, I don't like to shower, I'm not into dancing, I won't bring you flowers...My apartment's disgusting, I never clean it, I'm not into dusting, it makes me sneeze, And I hate long walks along the beach, So if you're looking for a romance, Well, I ain't that, So don't answer this personal ad.
~ Hey, if MTV and ESPN likes this band, who I am not to like them also?
Silence of the Clams!
That's enough for now. Litigation pending, I've contracted my lawyer, so sue away! For now I have posted for today, if only to post for posting sake, and now it is time to clam up!

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