Monday, June 06, 2005

Girth Control

A new study by a committee on nutrition has released a preliminary statement today. (I pay attention to these studies. You never know when they will come out with an announcement that Klondike Bars are essential for a long and healthy life.) You might say that findings of that study are quite comical!
~ They have determined that laughter is beneficial in losing weight. (Who knew, laughter is the best medicine!) The statement notes that laughing for at least fifteen minutes every day can burn as much calories found in a brownie. They added that laughing under that guideline could equate to a loss of four pounds a year.
~ Apparently a jovial person is more energetic. It is no secret that exercise burns calories. A healthy dose of comedic relief, combined with a balanced diet will go a long way in helping those who are fighting the battle of the bulge. On the other end of the spectrum, melancholy people tend to eat less than healthy foods, and as such are less likely to exercise.
~ It comes down to humor. So if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife! Oops! Sorry about that. That last line just sort of fell in place.
~ Read the comics! (Garfield is a good one.) Watch a good funny movie! (I recommend "The Party" with Peter Sellers.) Go see a stand-up comedian at an Improv Revue! (I like Lenny Clark.) Look at your old Prom pictures! (Strike that! Maybe not such a good idea. After all we are looking for laughs here, not tears.)
~ I have an excellent idea! If you really want to drop a few pounds, try reading a funny blog! ("Step into my parlor," said the spider to the fly.) Well, since you are already here, read my blog! (Eat your heart out, Dr. Atkins.)
~ I just realized something. This makes me a nutritionist! Imagine that! Since my services are free, it won't cost you an arm and a leg. All you stand to lose is a few ounces via a healthy dose of guffaws. I will probably have to add a warning notice to my site, though. "Precaution should be observed when reading material on this site. Exposure of more than fifteen minutes could result in looser fitting clothing."
~ Remember to laugh when the world laughs at you. Put down that eclair! Don't unwrap that Twinkie! Leave the candy Kisses in the bag! You don't need that Big Mac and super-sized fries! Just settle back in your chair and click that favorites link that brings you to a site that offers not only humor, but nutrition. This site! Bam! Bam! I guess I'll have to turn it up a notch!
~ This is the place to practice girth control. For nutrition, for your health, and for some laughs, this is the one-stop, all-you'll-need blog. I'll stand by by my product and guarantee that it is 100% fat-free, or your money back!
~(Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge)
No. 174

1 comment:

schnoodlepooh said...

Does that mean that I can eat a brownie and I won't gain weight if I laugh? Just another reason for me to get on "what not to wear". They laugh a lot on that show. I think that chuckling is pretty good too.