Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Dog Days of Dating

To the casual eye, it would seem that dogs live the Life Of Riley. They have been adopted as man's best friend. They are loyal to their bipedal masters, and serves as his protector.

Many is the man who has watched with envious wonder as the male dog easily licks its testicles. In an age-old joke, we are posed the question, "Why does a dog lick his testicles?" The answer, of course, was "Because he can!" The joke has, however, been updated with the new punch line, "Because he can't make a fist."

If we were to step back and and observe our canine friends in a less cavalier manner, we will see that they too face some of the same dilemmas as their masters.

Take dating for instance. Again, like their human counterparts, they also face tough standards and expectations. Some men can only dream of the canine's blatant disregard for monogamous relationships. For all we know, they too have tough standards and expectations to live up to.

Unlike human relationships, dogs are not subjected to the specter of commitment. They are not expected to settle down and tie themselves to one mate and only one mate. For the most part, running the household and parenting is usually left to the distaff member of the union.

Indeed, they are not required to hold down a job to earn money to pay the bills. They aren't expected to go straight home after work. The female doesn't worry about her mate's fidelity. The male doesn't worry about image and is not especially known to show good taste. The sight, and more significantly, the scent of the female has been known to distract him from responsibilites.

While men can be boys, dogs can be puppies. They too can go out and raise hell and get into trouble. A night out with boys can end up with a visit to the nearest precinct.

With the human male it is wine, women and song. With the dog it is toilet water, bitches and baying at the moon, and certainly not in that order.

After all has been said and done, it is really quite simple why the dog is man's best friend. Ignoring the species, man and dog are actually very much alike!



Peter said...

Mike, you have a diverse, nay disturbed may be a beeter word, mind, funny but disturbed !!

Cheri said...

"A creative unique outlook on life" or "hysterically warped"..whatever you prefer!

I now pronounce you stud and bitch!! lol

Have a great day!

Webmiztris said...

yes, VERY much alike indeed!

Carolyn said...

I think I agree with you. And they both put their paws where they shouldn't.

Long Iron said...

You forgot to mention all of the napping they get to do. Makes me think of wanting to come back as a dog when I get back to this earth...well, maybe a little anyways.

Marti said...

You've been tagged!

StringMan said...

I lick my testicles all the time! What's the big deal?

Hey, wait a minute, is this thing on? Ooooops.

(Woof! Woof! - nice post, Mike)

Marti said...

Bad Marti!
(Smacks own nose with rolled-up newspaper)


Sorry for tagging you without realizing you had already participted recently.

My bad.
(Tucks tail and hides under kitchen table) LOL