How Slogan You Go?

There seems to be a lot of postings about butt cracks around my blogroll lately. When it comes to the subject, I guess I've been sitting on mine.

Not to be outdone, I submit a picture of the rarely seen other side of Mt. Rushmore.

Lest I be the butt of allegations that I don't support equal opportunity, here is a butt crack of the fairer sex:

The topic I really wanted to touch upon, before I was canv-ass-ing on rear ends, was Slogans.

I have noticed over the years that a lot of slogans are not only dated, but need to be reassigned to other products and industries. Many of these slogans and catch phrases simply do not apply to the advertisers' products. So, The Pointmeister has, for your convenience and approval, come up with a list of these misapplied slogans and suggestions for a more appropriate application.

(Ding!) You are now free to read this blog. - (Nuff said.)

....The Good Hands People - What is an insurance company doing with this slogan? It is painfully obvious that this phrase should only be used by chiropractors and massage parlors.
....Can you hear me now? - While I can understand why a phone company would want to use this line, the consumer would be better served if this slogan was handed over to Miracle Ear or other manufacturers of hearing aids.
....L.S.M.F.T. - Once used by Lucky Strike cigarettes, they should give it up because they can no longer freely advertise their product. A worthy recipient would be Wonder Bra. (This may be over the heads of some of you non-baby boomers - oh, well - this is a family friendly site.)
....You rang? - This catch phrase was used by two two different characters on two different TV shows: Maynard G. Krebbs on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis and Lurch on The Addams Family, and as such can be turned over to a phone company.
....Some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. - Don't we know by now whether it is Mounds or Almond Joy that has a nut? With so many criminals pleading temporary insanity, this phrase surely belongs Psychologists and Psychiatrists.
....Unleash the power of the sun. - Sunny Delight is a juice. The Environmental Protection Agency could take this slogan and run with it.
....We bring good things to life. - A good ad campaign like this might boost interest in stem cell research and cloning. General Electric might make good things, but not life.
....Many happy returns. - IBM doesn't make electric typewriters anymore, so this slogan can be given to the return departments of retail stores.
....The best seat in the house. - Jockey underwear covers the seat, but why not let Ticketron have this one?
....Head for the border. - Let it go, Taco bell, the Department of Immigration gets this one.
....You've got questions, we've got answers. - Radio Shack would have us believe all their help is well versed in electronics. We know better. This one is awarded to Ask Jeeves over at ask.com.
....Celebrate the moments of your life. - Yes, General Mills International Coffees are good, but this sounds like a great slogan for Eastman Kodak.
....This Bud's for you. - I know this is sacreligious, but wouldn't this work well for FTD?

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