Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Pubic Servant

The Redneck Weather Station

When my Grandmother said it was going to rain, you best believe we fetched our rain coat. If there were any seeds that needed to be planted in the garden, we'd be right out there with Gramps on our hands and knees.
....When she said it was going to snow, we dug out our galoshes, inner tubes and sleds. Snow also meant we were in for a special treat - homemade country snow ice cream!

When she said it was going to be a scorcher, we'd grab those inner tubes and rush on off to the skinny-dipping ponds. When I was a little older, my cousin and I found it a tad more interesting to climb atop an old persimmon tree next to the McCormack's property. From that tree we could see the three sisters skinny-dipping in their backyard pool. The Mack's, as we called them, were much older than us. Someone said they were in their thirties, and to pre-teenagers like us, that was old!
....They sure looked a lot different than our sisters and girl cousins. It was still a ways off before we would experience puberty, but we were fascinated with the bouncing lumps on their chests. They always wore underwear, and we were always perplexed as to why there were those curious dark spots behind the front of them when they came out of the water.
....One summer day when visiting the Grandparent's farm, my cousin was there with a cast on his arm. At that age, a cast was like a medal for young boys, almost like some sort of rite of passage. When we were outside alone, he told me how he had broken his arm. He had fallen out of the persimmon tree a couple of days before while watching the McCormack girls.
....Like the wise Knight passing forbidden knowledge on to his favorite page, his chest swelled with pride as he told me he had learned the secret of the dark blotches on the girls' underwear. I don't know if he thought someone was close enough to hear him, but he bent closer to my ear and whispered. I listened in awe as he explained that the girls were no longer skinny-dipping in their underpants, as in totally nekkid. I gasped when he revealed to me that the dark spots were actually hair, pubic hair!
....At our age, we didn't say things like panties and pubic hair within an earshot of an adult. We had learned some time ago that certain words spoken in front of an adult would mean a tongue bath in lye soap! After lye soap, store bought soaps were a treat.
....Well I never did see the McCormack girls skinny-dipping again, with or without their underwear. One day, much later, I did have an opportunity to gather first hand more pubic information. That is another story though.

I have never heard a female version of this. Surely some girls have youthful memories of the male body and their encounters with the same. Some of them must have been curious enough to want to at least sneak a peek. Maybe somebody of the fairer sex can take the podium about their pubic observant days. (Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. That's a challenge, Know what I mean? Know what I mean?) I have an idea - considerate it a meme!

....It's ironic that when you are young, pubic scrutiny is a sign of curiosity and of growing up, and yet as you get older you are considered horny, perverted, or a dirty old person. It's not easy being pubic observant. It is harder still to be a Pubic Servant.



Jules said...

I may have to take you up on that Mikey. And geeze man, does your mind EVER shut off? I can barely keep up with reading your blog! Great stuff, sweetie. ;)

Peter said...

As an australian we are very proud that the map of our island state Tasmania has been universally adopted as the ideal female pubic region.

Marti said...

I love reminiscence stories - that was so much fun to read! Love the picture too!

When I was around seven years old, I was playing hide and seek at a friends house, and I hid in a closet in their bathroom, which had a louvered door.

I waited breathlessly, and when I heard someone enter, I peered cautiously out of the slats to spy her father - urinating! That was the first time I had seen an adult male’s genital area. I was awe-struck, but didn't move a muscle.

No one ever figured out I was in there - LOL

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I could never figure out why some parts were sexy and others weren't. Isn't it all covered with skin? Why is one piece of skin more sexy than another? It's a mystery.....

StringMan said...

At about 6 or 7 years old, I played "doctor" with a neighbor girl of the same age. She put a spoon on my (whatever you call them at that age), like she would a stethoscope. Then it was my turn. I took the spoon and went to place it the same way she did - and I was shocked. "Where's yours?" I asked. I forget what she said, but from that point on, I looked at girls differently.