Thursday, March 02, 2006

Two Mints In One


If ever this country needed breath mints, the time is now. The foul breath of our current politicians is permeating the news nearly every night. Don't despair, The Pointmeister has found some relief.

How do you spell relief? I-m-p-e-a-c-h-m-i-n-t-s! You too can get the nasty taste out of your mouth. At $3.00 a tin, (4 for $11.00) these very affordable mints are just what the doctor ordered. Buy some today for your friends and family.

You can buy them at http://philosophersguild.com

They carry a large assortment of mints that are sure to freshen your breath. A portion of the sales go to the Democratic National Party to help prevent another Republican from stumbling and bumbling in the most powerful position on the planet.

Sick and tired of Shotgun Cheney? Then it is a tin of Indictmints to the rescue.

Are you ashamed to admit that you are an American when you are talking to people from other countries? Are you ashamed to admit you voted for Bush, not once, but twice? Rest easy, National Embarrassmints will help soothe your guilt.











If you are fed up with the U.S. government and its foreign policies in general, they also sell Anti-Establishmints.

Now if you aren't into politics, they sell mints for other conditions and frames of mind. Name your malady and they will probably have a mint for it.


Ladies, have you ever awakened in the morning and wondered who that strange man was in the bed next to you? For some peace of mind, pop a Morning After Mint. He won't disappear and you can't undo what you don't remember, but your breath will be fresher. You might want to slip him one too.

Men might also have need for a special mints, especially if his significant other talked him into going to the movies to see "Brokeback Mountain." Gentlemen, if a friend or co-worker saw you enter the show, you might want to take several Manly Mints.

Of course there is always the chance that some of life's predicaments might require some professional help. Traumatic moments like waking up with a stranger and seeing a movie that's out of your character, might send you to a shrinks couch. Well, they even have After Therapy Mints.

Ladies, if on the other hand, you get a good look at that stranger when he returns from the bathroom, you might decide he is hot! They have you covered there too. Get to know him again and again with Sex Mints!

Sometimes when you do things that are a little to the left of acceptabilty in the eyes of the others, a person may feel a tinge of guilt. Although you will not lose any sleep over it, you realize you have sinned. Not ready for condemnation? You can open up a tin of Sin-O-Mints.


If perchance you are still feeling a little embarrassed or guily because of your "impure" deeds, they were thinking of you. You can have some Atonemints.

These are just a sampling of the mints available at the site. They also have a selection of tee shirts, coffee cups, finger puppet, etc. This is a legitimate site. You can actually buy the tins of mints depicted in this blog. To check it out, click on the link above. If you are too lazy to scroll back up there, click this link.

No.552

9 comments:

Onanite said...

Very funny bit! Thanks

Onanite

StringMan said...

Put me down for a few packs of those Sin-o-Mints. I still think your buddy John Kerry could use some Decisive-mints. Or were they Commit-mints?

(Boo! Go home republican ...)

Hale McKay said...

Sorry to give you the impression I am a Republican. I am Non-Partisan. I refuse to be tied to one party.

karma said...

haha. i'll have one of the kamasutra mints, please :))

Duke_of_Earle said...

Mike,

Got any yucca-mints for us Southwesterners?

John

Karen said...

i'll take one of each for all mentioned occasions that have or have not risen. that way i'll be covering all my bases...YUM!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

I very much like the sound of impeachmints. That asshole.

Fuckkit said...

Ooh, how cool would it be if they did custom Mints and you got to design the box?

Incidently and at the risk of sounding retarded, what exactly does "Impeach Bush" mean? Forgive my ignorance, I'm British :)

Nicole said...

I was laughing so hard when reading your post that you made me spit tea all over my computer keys!

Like you Hale, I am not of either party.....bbbuuuttt..why do people keep putting Kerry down recently saying he would have made a poor president when they don't know that because he isn't the president! I mean he won all the debates but Bush won instead? Fear? Changing of the guard during a time of war? Bush did a pretty good job of convincing alot of you that if you did "change the guard" during wartime it would be a catastrophe! Thats the only thing he did a good job in if you were to ask me! Still think this way with the way things are now? Bush played on your fears he still does people! No one knows if Kerry would have been a good president or not. Some constantly defend Bush NO MATTER what he does it is "OKAY"?? Excuse me but something deep inside of me (only my opinion)tells me that Kerry would have at least done a better job then GWB! I think Kerry probably would have handled things in much better ways of "common sense and maturity" and he also probably would have listened and paid attention to some of his staff rather then just 1 or 2 people trying to run the show! Now you can judge Bush on what he has done as president but you cannot "assume" or prejudge Kerry as president since he hasn't been one! Talk about "prejudgemint"!

GWB is sadly lacking in so many common sense skills and such poor lack of judgement as a president that I almost feel like I am observing a teenager in the white house who never "Grew up"! Just because someone says they are a "born again christian" doesn't mean they are going to make a good president, it takes more than that! If thats the only reason some voted for him both times then that is very scary and I feel sorry for them. The proof is in the pudding! Besides does calling yourself a born again christain make you a better person? Why, may I ask? I mean look at the examples of some born again christians!? Hello people???? Time to snap out of it with a "wake up mint"!..and if I offended anyone then I offer you an "apologiemint"...sorry but lets get real here please!

Hand me an "impeachmint" would you? thanks..;)

Rhi