Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Bush Sings

....This morning I was watching the news. It was pre-empted by an "important" address by President Bush concerning the price of oil. As he began to mumble and ramble and stray from the topic at hand, I could have sworn I heard a musical backdrop. The words he was saying, whatever he was saying were turning into lyrics.
...." We Americans are addicted to oil ..."

Mumblin, mumblin, mumblin. Keep ramblin, ramblin, ramblin. Though they're disapprovin, keep them ol' fogies wonderin 'bout their Raw Hides. Won't try to understand 'em, I'll just jerk and fool and srew 'em .... "Cause I'm livin high and dry. Lead em on, stretch em thin, stretch em thin, give em hope, lie to em' jerk around their ... Raw Hides! Knock em down, ride em hard, ride em hard, beat em up, hold em down, cut up their ... Raw Hides!

As Frankie Lane's baritone faded, it was replaced by the drone of Bush's rambling. It reminded me of yellow jackets buzzing around a cow pile. "We have to tighten our belts..."

The White House is the place to be, Presidentin' is the life for me. My bullshits a spreadin so far and wide. Bomb Iraq 'n Iran for the WMD they hide. Washington is where I'd rather stay, I'm allergic to what the people say. I just adore an oval office view. America, I love you, ... But give me Penn Avenue!

The image of Green Acres disappeared ... and still the blowhard's lips were moving. "We are dependent on foreign oil because that's where it comes from...."

George is George, of course, of course, and no one can talk like a horse's ass of course, That is, of course, unless the George is the famous Mister Dubya. Go right to the source and ask Geoge about it, He'll give the answer that's full of shit, he's never on a steady course. Talk to Mister Dubya. He can yakkity-yak a streak and waste your time of day, But Mister Duya speaks when he has nothing to say. George is George, of course, of course, And this one'll talk til his voice is hoarse. You never heard of our talking George? Well, don't listen to him, He's Mister Dubya.
I was laughing in spite of myself. Anyone nearby would've thought I was quite nuts laughing at a Presidential press conference. They would wonder what I thought was so funny about the escalating price of oil. One moment I was imaging Mr. Ed, and the next thing I know, I am seeing Elmer Fudd. "Be vewy, vewy qwiet. I'm hunting Iwaqis! Huh-huh-huh!"

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, A tale of of a wasted stint, That started from the Florida polls, On the back of the President.
....The VP was a mighty shooting man, The Commander a naive l'il worm; The country voted that day, For a four-year term ...a four-year term.
....The economy started getting rough, The country was tossed, Despite the men of the White House crew; The people's trust was lost ... The people's trust was lost.
....The country's aground on the desert sands of Iraq; With Cheney, and the Prez too, The millionaires, and their wives, The movie stars, the rich and you and I .... Here on George's Isle.
Still laughing, I jotted down some of the images I had conjurred up while the President spoke. I had scarcely heard a word of his diatribe. I'm sure it was a bunch of gobbly-gook and rhetoric that I didn't want to hear anyway. I folded up the notes and stuck them in my pocket and got my mind set to the thought of finishing dressing for work. I shut off the TV, leaving Dubya either in mid-word or a yawn, I don't know which.

The product of those thoughts, inspired by our glorious leader have become this posting before you. In hindsight, I guess the President's speech was worthwhile after all.

(For a limited time, a 2-CD set of George W. Bush's compilation of the greatest TV theme songs will be made available to the general public. The $79.95 proceeds will be donated to the George. W. Bush retirement fund. Get your copy today.)



erin said...

just too funny. I enjoyed your account of Bush's speach today. I would have much rather read your blog than listened to him. :)

Peter said...

If nothing else ol' Dubya is blogable Mike.

M said...

I love your blog! Thanks for telling me about it at my blog!

Janet said...

I would just as well watch the guy who does the Bush impersonation on MAD TV. He's funny in an intentional way.:)

TMelendez said...

You are so warped...!!!! Oh man.. next time Im in Boston Im calling you I dont care how far you are.. we are going to the baah!!

Sometimes I dont know how much to believe you.. but I TOO end up laughing at some of the things he says or does.. Did you catch how since that famous magazine photo (I think it was Time) where he is standing sort of in a cowboy stance with a blue long sleeve rolled-up, he knows stands like that with roll up sleeves at some of the places..!!!?? It cracks me up!!

I dont know who to feel sorry for, him or Scott McCleland .. which one lacks more self-respect?

Lisa said...

oh that's bad! BAAAD! But so dang funny...