Lurn Two Wright Gud

(The following came from Dribble Glass.)

How to Write Good

Follow these tips, and you'll be writing gooder in no time!

~Always avoid alliteration.
~Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
~Avoid clichés like the plague—they're old hat.
~Employ the vernacular.
~Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
~Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
~Parenthentical words however must be enclosed in commas.
~It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
~Contractions aren't necessary.
~Do not use a foreign word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo. ~One should never generalize.
~Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
~Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
~Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
~It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
~Avoid archaeic spellings too.
~Understatement is always best.
~Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
~One word sentences? Eliminate. Always!
~Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
~The passive voice should not be used.
~Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
~Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors—even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
~Who needs rhetorical questions?
~Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.
~Do not use hyperbole; not one in a million can do it effectively.
~Never use a big word where a diminutive alternative would suffice.
~Subject and verb always has to agree.
~Be more or less specific.
~Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
~Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispelling and to catch typograhpical errers.
~Don't repeat yourself, or say again what you have said before.
~Don't be redundant.
~Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
~Don't never use no double negatives.
~Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
~Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
~Eschew obfuscation.
~No sentence fragments.
~Don't indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
~A writer must not shift your point of view.
~Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!
~Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
~Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
~If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
~Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
~Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
~Always pick on the correct idiom.
~The adverb always follows the verb.
~And always be sure to finish what ......

It was a busy weekend and the grey matter is a little tired. Please excuse the "borrowed" and recycled material in today's post.

No.644