Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Acrimonious Acronyms


It's another day in the Blogosphere. That smell of burning wood is not from a forest fire. It's not the embers from incense. It's not pot. It's not even Pinnochio trying to mate with the knot hole in a picket fence! ....It's the stinking thinking of Writer's Block!

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51;
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo;
So don't tell me ...I've nothing to do.
-Statler Brothers

Kind of sounds like Blogging, doesn't it? The Adidas picture above and its contrived acronym can be blamed for tonight's FUBAR* post. Any problems posting, however, can be summed up with the acronym PICNIC - Problem In Chair, Not In Computer. While on the subject of computers, FYI did know WINDOWS = Will Install Needless Data On Whole System?

....Here's a few fun ones:

CRAFT = Can't Remember A F**king Thing
PhD = Permanent Head Damage
MARLBORO = Men Always Remember Ladies Because Of Romantic Offers
LADDER = Longitudinal And Directional Distance Extremity Reacher
FART = Fecal Air Rectally Transmitted

My favorite ones are those that poke fun at the Auto Industry:

BMW - Big Money Waste
BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVY - Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
DODGE - Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT - Fix It Again Tomorrow
FORD - Found On Road Dead
GM - Grinding Metal
GMC - Gotta Mechanic Coming
HONDA - Hold On, Not Done Accelerating
JEEP - Just Enough Engine Power
KIA - Killed In Action
MAZDA - Made At Zoo by Demented Apes
MG - Mostly Garaged
OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Increasingly Late Everyday
PINTO - Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
PLYMOUTH - Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nebraskan, Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE - Piece Of Rusty Scrap, Cost Highly Expensive
SUBARU - Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath
TOYOTA - The One You Ought To Avoid
VW - Virtually Worthless

*FUBAR - F**ked Up Beyond All Reason

Most of the above acronyms came from Business Balls.

No.698

9 comments:

Peter said...

AWCOAA; Another worthwhile collection of amusing anecdotes

jules said...

Cute, Mikey.

Fred said...

These are priceless. My printer will be very busy in a few moments.

Karen said...

"PONTIAC - Poor Old Nebraskan, Thinks It's A Cadillac" = my Grand Am

CHEVY - Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet = hubby's Tahoe

tee, hee!!

Sar said...

Thanks to you, Mike, I can finally expand my acrimonious acronyms beyond KISS - keep it simple stupid.

Nicole said...

Hi, this is Rhiannon "I'm back"!..I have a new handle blog addy so just click on my name and it will take you there!

You are so good at these little interpretations! Very very cute!

Come join me on my blog and read my most recent post "Stop The War" Blog protest!...Feel free to contribute by making a comment if you like..I've already got quite a few people contributing with comments and my responses..

Stop the War! Love and Peace..

Blessings,

Rhi

lime said...

always referred to my ford as a fix or repair daily

if you need wallpaper to stimulate thoughts, i saved swatches from my house when we peeled it all simply because it was all so truly hideous in a very 'brady' way. i could scan and send examples of the grotesque former decor if it would help.

kenju said...

Those were FUNNY!

Christina said...

I had heard a few of those but most were new to me. Very funny!