Thursday, August 24, 2006


We are all "Sexperts."
If I were to write a book about sex, I'd give it the title "Great Sexpectaions." What would you call your book?
What do I know about sex?

  • It has its ups and downs.
  • You have to first get clean to get dirty.
  • Begging is a form of foreplay.
  • You get dressed up just to get undressed.
  • Sex is like a business meeting wherein a man makes a stiff proposition and if the woman has an opening, they get something straight between themselves.
  • Ten toes up and ten toes down - if that isn't sex, I don't know what is.

Quotable Sexperts

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. - Henry Kissinger

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. - Mae West

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high. - Adrienne E. Gusoff

It's hard to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

Macho does not prove mucho. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. - Fred Allen

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr



LZ Blogger said...

I loved the Henry Kissinger Quote! ~ jb///

Peter said...

That puts you about six points up on most of us Mike.

jules said...

My favorite topic. What, no pictures? Cartoons don't count. Let me send you my personal stash...cuz my book is gonna contain pics!

Jack K. said...

Still laughing.


Sudiegirl said...

my book would be called, "All right, get off me now"