Sexpectations

Sex!
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We are all "Sexperts."
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If I were to write a book about sex, I'd give it the title "Great Sexpectaions." What would you call your book?
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What do I know about sex?
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• It has its ups and downs.
• You have to first get clean to get dirty.
• Begging is a form of foreplay.
• You get dressed up just to get undressed.
• Sex is like a business meeting wherein a man makes a stiff proposition and if the woman has an opening, they get something straight between themselves.
• Ten toes up and ten toes down - if that isn't sex, I don't know what is.

Quotable Sexperts

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. - Henry Kissinger

I only like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign. - Mae West

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high. - Adrienne E. Gusoff

It's hard to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

Macho does not prove mucho. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. - Fred Allen

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr

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