Monday, February 26, 2007

Telephonies

If you owned a public business, more than likely you would want an efficient receptionist. She would be organized, congenial and an excellent typist. At the risk of being chauvinistic, you would probably want a receptionist who is also attractive.

Would you ever consider whether or not she has telephone or switchboard skills?

( Ring! Ring! )

Receptionist: "Good morning! You have reached the law offices of Hewey, Dewey, Louie and Screwy. How may I help you?"

Caller/Client: "Could I please speak to Mr. Dewey?"

Recepionist: "I'm sorry, but Mr. Dewey is unable to come to the phone right now."

Caller/Client: "Oh. When do expect him to be available?"

Receptionist: "It shouldn't be too long, maybe fifteen minutes. He stepped out to the pet store."

Caller/Client: "The pet store? At nine o'clock in the morning?"

Receptionist: "All I know, sir, is that he said he was going to see a man about a dog! Would you like to leave a message?"

Caller/Client: "No, that's okay. I'll call back later."

( Ring! Ring! )

Receptionist: "Good afternoon! You have reached the law offices of Hewey, Dewey, Louie and Screwy. How may I help you?"

Caller/Client: "Yes, could I speak to Mr. Hewey?"

Receptionist: "I'm sorry, but Mr. Hewey is unavailable right now. Would you like to leave a message?"

Caller/Client: "This is Mrs. Hewey. I need to know if he's going to be working late again tonight."

Receptionist: "Hah! Working late, Mr. Hewey? He never works late."

Caller/Wife: "What do you mean, he never works late? He's been late every night for the last two weeks!"

Receptionist: "Ma'am, I assure you he's been leaving early every day."

Caller/Wife: "What? Switch me to his secretary - NOW!"

Receptionist: "I'm afraid Miss Baker is also unavailable right now."

Caller/Wife: "I'll hold!"

Receptionist: "If you wish, Ma'am. But she won't be back today."

Caller/Wife: "What? Where did she go?"

Receptionist: "I don't know, Ma'am. She left early ... with your husband."

Caller/Wife: " ( Expletives deleted. )

Ad in the local newspaper the next day:

Wanted: Receptionist for the Law Firm of Dewey, Lewey and Screwy. Must be congenial and organized. Excellent typing skills a must. Applicants should be efficient ... but not too efficient.

No.908

9 comments:

Jack K. said...

Who'd have thought it would turn out that way? giggle.

Great story. It must be true. There was a want ad in the paper the next day. ha ha ha

hrmpl (wv)

pink ginger 珂琳 said...

the real smart person will know how to act naive at the right time.
for men, they always like a smart but not too smart women.

Miss Cellania said...

I was a receptionist for a year once... there were a lot of "delicate situations" like this. I'm glad I handled it better than your example!

Christina said...

efficient, yes, but there's a lot to be said for common sense and discretion!

Top cat said...

that was funny, I liked it.:)

who is screwy?
you are screwy?
not you but who?
oh well Abbott & Costello did it better.):

Scary Monster said...

Gotta go see a man about a dog. LMAO! Havent't heard that expression an quite some time. Thanks Mike . Me is one giggly monster now.
Good luck on VT. Me left some old joke over there that might give you an idea or two.

Serena Joy said...

I used to work for a large firm and I have to admit I got a slightly sadistic kick out of answering some of those questions honestly sometimes. To be honest, the guys deserved it.:)

Raggedy said...

Hahahahaha!
Thanks.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

wazza said...

Gidday Mike,
I'd like to say LOL, but find this abbreviation a pain in the arse.
Nearly every bugger seem to use this to state that they laughter out loud.
What's wrong in saying as jack K. said "giggle" or top cat said "that was funny" or raggesy said "hahahaha"
That was bloody funny Mike.