Thursday, May 31, 2007

Three Decades

What a difference a day makes;
There's a rainbow before me.
Skies above can't be stormy,
Since that moment of bliss,
That thrilling kiss.


What a Difference 30 Years Makes

1970: 3-D Glasses
2000: Bifocals

1970: Long hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1970: KEG
2000: EKG

1970: Acid rock
2000: Acid reflux

1970: Moving to California because it's cool
2000: Moving to California because it's warm

1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1970: the Carpenters
2000: Eminem

1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints
2000: Popping joints

1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer

1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM

1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian

1970: Going to a new, hip joint
2000: Receiving a new hip joint

1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones

1970: Being called into the principal's office
2000: Calling the principal's office

1970: Marcus Welby, M.D.
2000: Bufy the Vampire Slayer

1970: Screw the system
2000: Upgrade the system

1970: Disco
2000: Costco

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1970: Taking acid
2000: Taking antacid

1970: Passing the drivers test
2000: Passing the vision test

1970: Whatever
2000: Depends

1970: Nixon
2000: Bush

Have things changed so much, or is it we who have changed?


For those who can remember all the differences in those three decades, here's a couple of jokes to which you may relate. They were "borrowed" from Jack's alternate site, How Now Blue Cow.

Senior Fitness
(Winter exercises for those of us who are getting older....)

I Just came across this exercise suggested for seniors, to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It seems so easy, so I thought I'd pass it on to some of my friends and family. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax. Each day, you'll find that you can Hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then 50-lb potato sacks.
Eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.(I'm at this level)

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

Perfect Story

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident.
Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?

The perfect woman. She's the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man..

* A Male's Response *

So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

No.1002

4 comments:

Peter said...

Three decades was a winner Mike.

Top cat said...

I remember the 70's..I think.
tc

Serena Joy said...

Since I just had a birthday and am still smarting from it, I refuse to have the word "senior" in my vocabulary or remember 30 years ago.:)

Jack K. said...

I am constantly guided by the philosophical advice that comes with Dove Dark Chocolate pieces--Age is only a number.