Monday, June 18, 2007

A License To Age

It certainly was an interesting week. Myspace LayoutsI'm feeling yet a little groggy after a week of libations and trying to clear the cobwebs from a weekend hangover. I sure annihilated a generation of brain cells with seven days of posts related to bars and drinking.

So what next? I suppose I could pick on the youthfully-challenged folks a bit.


The Old Motor

He's 80, she's 20.
It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl.

After a year of marriage she went into the hospital to give birth.
The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying:

"This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?"

He answered, "You got to keep the old motor running."

The following year the young bride gave birth again.
The same nurse said: "You're amazing. How do you do it?"

He again said: "You've got the keep the old motor running."

The same thing happened the next year. The nurse then said:

"Well, well, well! !! You certainly are quite a man!"

He responded again, "You've got to keep that old motor running"

The nurse said:

"Well, you better change the oil. This one's black!


Driver's Licenses

Two senior citizens were lamenting one day about getting old.The first one says, "My neck hurts so much I have a hard time turning my head left or right". The second one says, "My eyes are so bad with cataracts I can barely see four feet away". The first senior pipes in, "Yes, and my arthritis in my hands is so bad somedays I can't grip anything". The second senior replies, "My hearing is shot, couldn't hear a train coming if it was right in front of me". Then the first senior says, "But at least we still got our driver's license".


ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

First -- Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start BRAGGING about it.

Second -- The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third -- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth -- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Fifth -- One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Sixth -- Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Seventh -- Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And finally eighth-- If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.


Myspace LayoutsThere is one perk on my job working with the elderly - they think I'm young!

No.1020

9 comments:

Blue said...

I told my wife once that when she turned 40, I was going to trade her in for two twenty year olds. "It'll never work" she said, "you aren't wired for 220!"

Hale McKay said...

Blue, that sounds like a short circuit to me.

Peter said...

Lucky I learned to laugh at trouble looong ago.

Jack K. said...

Great post.

Thank goodness for senior moments.

Thanks for stopping by Shannon's site. Yep, she is the youngest of my girls.

Nankin said...

Very funny. I do have a senior moment now and then.

Marti said...

Drat, it didn't take my comment....

Those were great - thanks for the laughs!

Blue said...

Mike, your new header pic is pretty cool.

The Chick said...

Age is catching up with me. But I'm still working on outrunning it. Doing younger guys seems to be helping somewhat. ;)

Hale McKay said...

That doesn't sound too promising for us older guys, chick.