...And Somedays You're the Hydrant

NOW I KNOW WHAT MY PROBLEM IS !! (Thanks for the diagnosis, Earl.)

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.) *

This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to bring the mail inside and go through it before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can and notice that the can is full.So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on thefloor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: - The car isn't washed - The bills aren't paid - The garbage hasn't been taken out - There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter - The flowers don't have enough water - There is still only 1 check in my check book - I can't find the remote - I can't find my glasses - And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

--It is often said that Scientists are simply too 'stupid' to know thatsomething is impossible. If it were not for this "Ignorance Factor" much of what we now know, would have never come to be.-- Unknown

* -Also known as C.R.S. (Can't Remember Shit)

No.1056