Saturday, August 18, 2007
A few days ago, I posted Ya Know What Bugs Me?, which gave a list which answered the title's question.
To my surprise my dog approached me and gave me of a list of things that bugged her. For the last couple of days she has been bugging me because I had yet to post it.
Okay Ginger, today the blog is yours!
(15 Things that Bug Dogs)
1. Leaving the Toilet Bowl Lid Down. - Humans just don’t understand that the water is cold, fresh and always tastes better there. For the little dogs that have never been able to “reach” this delightful experience – you don’t know what you are missing!
2. Not Sharing in the Fruits of Your Labor. - I don’t mean “fruit” actually. I mean that beautiful, 1½-inch steak you cooked to such aromatic perfection. We’re all part of the pack, right? Why am I not getting my share?
3. Not Understanding My Behavior. - Okay, so I like to greet strangers by leaping on them. I like to chase my tail by that lead crystal vase you call an heirloom. I’m not misbehaving; I’m a dog for crying out loud. It’s all good, like shadow chasing, helps build eye-to-paw coordination.
4. Bathing. - What is with the daily bath “thing” that humans do?And why do they inflict that obscenity upon me on occasion? Just when I think I am smelling fine, they bathe me. I really don’t understand. I’m only going to go out and roll in “something” again. They just don't appreciate the effort it takes to get that perfect doggie odor.
5. Rushing Me To Potty. - Don’t they know that there is a true art to finding the right spot? Just because they did not get up in time, they are running late, they want me to “Hurry up and potty.” Have a little respect. This is my chance to shine!
6. Being Away. - I love attention and being around people, noise and excitement. When you are away, at work, or running errands ... this is time away from me. Don’t you know? It is ALL about me. Your life should revolve around me AND I can make you regret leaving me behind....
7. Nail Trims. - They are my nails – I spend lots of time growing them and here they come again touching my feet. I hate that!
8. Not Letting Me Chase the Squirrel. - They torment me by placing a glass wall called a window between me and lots of critters outside. How annoying. All I want to do is “play” with them. The other thing they do is restrain me with this thing called the leash. I want to run forward and I am pulled back. If they can't keep up, they should just let me go. What is a dog to do?
9. Cat Nip. - Now this is one peeve that really annoys me. I see the cat roll and play and even cry out in joy in response to cat nip. I smell it, eat it, lick it and ... nothing happens. Nothing. I don’t get it.
10. Not Letting Me at the Mailman. - This is so unfair. I wait all day for the mailman and finally he comes. The anticipation is great. Then, they hold me back. Tell me to be quiet. Very annoying. They don’t appreciate the fact that the mailman comes everyday and I single handedly scare him away! My bravery and courage are unappreciated.
11. When My Owner is Playing with the Other Dog or Cat. - This really hurts my feelings. Seeing MY owner play with someone else. It is all about me... They really don’t understand.
12. Won’t Let Me at the Litter Box. - I think of it as an opportunity for a tootsie roll snack. My owners get all grossed out, run around and then actually deny me access to what I desire the most. I am actually helping to clean up. What’s the problem?
13. Expecting Me to Be at Their Beck and Call. - For a treat – I have to do some little humiliating trick and pretend I like it. What about independence, freedom and respect?
14. Sharing the Bed. - I don’t understand why I have to sleep on the floor. Why can’t I have the bed and they sleep on the floor? I work hard all day and night. I protect my owners, guard the house and scare away invaders of my castle such as the mailman, cats, squirrels, and a multitude of other creatures. I should be pampered.
15. Rolling up the Windows. - I feel such joy from the little words, “wanna go bye bye.” This gives me thoughts of having the window down with cool wind blowing through my hair, looking just dynamite as other dogs stare from the curbs in envy and awe. And just when I am really getting into it – head out, ear flapping, they roll up the window. Then I am forced to stare at other dogs going by with their heads out the window. Mega bummer.
…and one more for good measure:
16. Cats. - What really makes me angry is the agility and grace of cats. They have the gifted ability to jump up on things and escape under things with such ease. I really wish I could do that. When I try to do that, I inevitably break or knock something over.
Curmudgeon responsible for this post: Hale McKay at 10:18 PM