Friday, November 23, 2007

Black Friday: Black List

Today was the day after Thanksgiving. It has become known in the retail world as Black Friday. As a consumer however, I think it should be called Red Friday. The retailers want you to have your checkbooks, cash and/or credit cards ready to buy their sales specials now, even though you can buy them on the 15th of December at half the sales price. Don't you just love the magic of Free Enterprise?

(The following is a retread from my archives of last year under the title of "Santa's Got a Brand New Bag.")

Public Service Announcement:

Yes, Santa's got a brand new bag! What new hot toys are on the kiddies' wish lists for the 2007 edition of Christmas?

Always ready to provide consumers with comprehensive reports on consumer products, I have put together this preview of the most-wanted toys on the market. These were also the hottest toys of 2006.

Remember the ruckus when the new Sony Play Station hit the stores? Be prepared to go to war when you hit the stores for these items!

Clue, the popular murder solving game has been updated at long last. Gone are the silly suspects of the past, replaced with more life-like characters.

Lawn Dart Tag offers a cleaner alternative to the popular paint ball craze. The handy first-aid kit included will teach the kiddies how to apply battle dressing.

Mary Kate's Binge 'n' Purge Game, is just the thing for those girls who are beginning to think about their bodies.

What gift for those future junkies, could be more practical than the Easy-Bake Meth Lab? If they are going to try drugs, let them learn the proper way to manufacture them.
Mrs. Beasley has grown up to help teach your children to know when they've had enough. The doll comes complete with a dozen various nips of liquor. My Little Pony Glue Factory is appearing on this list for the second time.
Your little secret agent man will love the new Peepin' Tommy Night-Vision Goggles. Of course he'll have to pry them from daddy, that big secret agent man.
The Playa Doh Bling Factory will allow those rap-loving kids to make their own outrageous jewelry. Bling is the thing!
The Road Kill Raccoon is made especially for the Redneck younguns. Included is a package of lifelike edible gummy maggots.
Bump 'Em Hump 'Em Robots, last year's most popular toy, returns to the list.

Rubik's Pube is an offbeat puzzle from the man who drove us crazy with his cube. Watch your kids and friends alike struggle to solve this beguiling puzzle. Just don't tell them what it actually is.
There you have it folks, this year's list of the hottest toys. Be sure to tell Santa that I sent you.

(This posting is for entertainment purposes only. The author does not condone the use of alcohol or drugs or drastic eating habits.)



Scary Monster said...

Mike. You be out-doing yerself here!

This has got to be one of the funniest things you have ever posted.

Play Doh bling... LMAO!!!


Skunkfeathers said...

Play Doh bling? *snort* You might start somethin' thar ;)