Sunday, November 04, 2007

The Living Daylights Savings Time

So I get an extra hour of sleep? I was so happy that I stayed up another hour and partied. Hungover, the next morning I got up an hour late.

Does anybody really know what time it is? (I don't.)
Does anybody really care?
If so I can't imagine why, (about time.)
We've all got time enough to cry.
- (Chicago)

Let me see if I got this straight. By implementing Daylight Savings Time, are we saving daylight or are we saving time? I didn't know either one was endangered.

It seems more likely that we are endangering our timepieces. Think of the wear and tear on these machines. We allow them to reach the current time, then turn them back so that they can start the previous hour all over again.

If that wasn't bad enough, the extra hour added to the days means that businesses have an extra hour to operate in the daylight. Ergo we have an extra hour to shop in their places. Now, wouldn't it make much more sense to call the time changes - Daylight Spending Time?

Consider one of the most ancient of time telling constructions ever erected by mankind: Stonehenge.

According to archaeologists and scientists, these megaliths were built by the Druids so that they could predict the seasons, especially the Autumnal and Vernal Equinoxes.

I submit that they are not entirely correct. You see, Stonehenge was actually an enourmous barbeque pit! The proof is evidenced by the formation's geographical location. The structure is located on the plains of Salisbury. When the Druids had cause to celebrate for birthdays, anniversaries, confirmations, etc., they have a huge neighborhood cookout. Their favorite delicacy survives to this very day. Surely you've heard of Salisbury Steaks!

Do you think they practiced daylight savings Time? Of course not! Can you imagine those poor bastards rearranging the placement of all those heavy massive stones twice a year?

I took the following from Funny Side. The author has some excellent ideas of how our exiting means of Daylight Savings Time could be vastly improved.

Richard S. Holmes

It happens every spring: crocuses, baseball (with any luck), and the switch to
Daylight Savings Time (DST).

Coming off DST is not hard. In the Fall, we set our clocks back one hour. We
all get an extra hour to sleep, and those who forget find themselves at church,
or the airport, or wherever an hour early. Embarrassing, but not catastrophic.

But in the Spring we set the clocks forward, and the trouble begins. We lose
an hour of sleep. Forgetful people miss Mass, planes, breakfast, and the big
game on TV. Some are thrown into disarray for up to a full week. Annual
losses due to DST confusion have been estimated (by me) at over a million
dollars. I myself have missed a flight to Washington and a showing of The
Seven Samurai because of DST.

There is no need for such tragic waste. We can -- we should and must -- urge
our lawmakers to reform Daylight Savings Time as follows:

Setting clocks back is easy; setting them forward is difficult. Therefore, let
us keep the fall ritual as it is. However, one Sunday each Spring, let us set
our clocks not one hour forward, but TWENTY-THREE HOURS BACKWARD.

Think of all the advantages. We will not lose an hour of sleep; we will gain
(almost) a day of rest. It will be Saturday all over again. You will never
again miss Confession, or an airplane, or the Redskins game.

Naturally, if this were the whole plan, our calendars would fall behind one day
in each year. However, the second part of the Revised DST Plan deals with
this. Every four years, instead of adding a day, let us SUBTRACT THREE DAYS.
Furthermore, let these be Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, which according to
recent polls are the least popular days.

If done in February, which seems reasonable considering what a miserable month
it is, this would have the beneficial side effect of shortening the
excruciating presidential primary season by an effective four days.

The advantages of this plan are clear. Let us waste no time. With a determined
effort we can have Reformed Daylight Savings Time by Spring of next year.

Write your congressperson today!

So tell me, how in the hell do you reset a sundial?

If because of a time change, what would happen if the man in the cartoon really did show come too early?



Peter said...

Sounds to me like fighting City Hall Mike, you might as well give in gracefully.

Raggedy said...

What time is it?
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) huggles
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Scary Monster said...

Wouldn't mind setting the clocks back about 17 years or so...


Hillbilly Willy said...

Time change always confuses Hillbilly Willy. I ask the little wife for a week "What time was it before the time changed."

Well, all clocks were wrong this morning. However, I knew that the trusty cell phone changed automatically. It should have changed to the right time last night.

Well instead of going back an hour it went forward an hour. So when it should have been 8:00 on new time and 9:00 old time it said 10:00. Man did that confuse me.

It stayed that way until some time during church. I looked at my cell one time (I wasnt bored) and it said 11:30. About the time the preacher said amen I looked at it and it had corrected itself.

Was the Good Lord trying to tell Willy something?

10-4 Willy

Hale McKay said...

Hillbilly Willy - That sure sounds like a sign of some kind. What kind? Who knows?

Thanks for the visit and comments.