Monday, November 26, 2007

A Little Light on the Subject

When I got home after work this evening I was chagrined to see that two of my neighbors had put up outdoor lights on their houses. I grumbled to myself, "What's the hurry, you clowns? It's only the 26th of November!"

I can see it now. Soon there will be the domino effect in play. Our house will be the last one to be decked out in holiday regalia.

So be it. I refuse to join the ranks of the minions who follow the Joneses. I put up our outdoor lights on the second weekend of December. It has been my routine for thirty-five years and I'm not about to change now. It's all about tradition!

I will get even though. I take the lights down on New Year's Day. Our house will be the first to lose the lights. I wonder which neighbor will be the first to follow my lead?

Putting up lights, whether they are hung outside or on the Christmas tree inside, is not one of my favorite things. No matter how diligent I was the year before taking care to stow the lights, invariably they will be a tangled mess this time around.

That brings me to today's Christmas carol parody. I culled this classic parody from my archives of a year ago. It was well received then and I hope for more of the same this year. If you've ever strung Christmas lights, you will relate to it.

Tangled Lights
(Sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Thrashing through the box
For a working set of lights
I could smash em with rocks
Cursing with all my might.
Lights on tangled strings
I tug, pull and I jerk
What hell it is to find a string
That maybe just might work.


Tangled lights, tangled lights,
Tangled all the way,
Oh how I'd like to find
One working set to display.
O,Tangled lights, tangled lights,
Tangled all the way,
Oh what fun it is to find
Just one that works today.

An hour or so ago
I thought I'd write a blog
And soon Miss Cellania might
Add a link to her site.
The words are mean and rank
The torture seemed my lot,
Blew a fuse, my poor heart sank
I need some booze and pot.


Now the lights are aglow
Come see 'em if you will,
I'll charge admission so
I can pay the electric bill.
Next year I think I'll buy
A set,two or three or four
I'll put them up in July
And take them down no more!




Skunkfeathers said...

LOL...I don't decorate for Xmas. At least, not much. I can get away with this because it's only me and my pet rock, and the pet rock is still on extended holiday in Japan (don't ask).

I did the light thing one year; the next year, my 100 mini-light display looked like concertina wire that had successfully (?) resisted a human-wave assault. My patience level with untangling it was insufficient to achieve fruition. I now have one wire, with three colored balls on it. That's my decoration for Xmas ;)

Jack K. said...

It is interesting to learn of the Christmas decorating rituals of others.

Ours begins the day after Thanksgiving and ends the 1st or 2nd of January.

We place a string of lighted garland around the front door and two small, lighted trees by the door.

As for the trees inside, yes there are two, they are artificial and I leave the lights on them from year to year. It sure makes decorating easier.

Have a great holiday.

Miss Cellania said...

I love the song! And not just because I'm in it.

Skunk, its been a couple of years now, do you still think that rock is ever coming home?

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ho ho ho and a bottle of good scotch.

Superstar said...

How can you not be stressing/!?!? OMG I am stressing and I ~scratched my head~
I don't think I will be able to sleep knowing that little Hale Hoo is behind schedule in Hoo vile...heheheheh

Then again I LOVE Christmas... I am mrs Friggin clause...