This Weed's For You!

Uncle Sam Says No To Weed.

In what could be a script for a Cheech & Chong movie, the federal government has threatened sanctions of fines against the Mount Shasta Brewing company. It seems that the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Arms has a problem with the brewers of Weed Beer because of their bottle caps which read, "Try Legal Weed."

Art Resnick, a spokesperson for the bureau said that the bottle caps tell consumers to support an illegal drug. Vaune Dillman, owner of the brewery has appealed the decision. He said that the beer's labels have a picture of the Weed arch and of the city's founding father, Abner Weed. He added that they were dealing with a surname that's been used for hundreds of years.

The brewery and the community of Weed, California, sits in the shadow of Mount Shasta. The town is also noted as the setting for John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men."

Dillman also said that he's outraged that Weed Beer is being singled out for using a possible pot play on words when Anheuser-Busch has used "Bud" - another name for marijuana - to promote its Budweiser line of beers. While not cited by the feds, the beer caps also are printed with "A Friend in Weed, Is a Friend Indeed."

Whatever the outcome, I do know that if ever I'm looking for weed, I'll find it at Mount Shasta.

Future Crackdowns:

Toro Lawn Products - The Feds will mandate that lawn trimmers shall not be referred to as "weed eaters." Also lawn mowers cannot be called "grass cutters."

Scott Lawn Products - The company can say that their products insure healthy lawns, but cannot state same products help to grow healthy grass.

Hopscotch - The schoolyard game can no longer be called by its familiar name because of the obvious references to alcoholic products and would promote such to small children. The Feds cite the obvious use of the word "scotch," as well as the reference to "hops," an ingredient used in making beer.

Hula Skirts - Even though it is tradtional to the Hawaiian Islands, there will be a crackdown on any and all attempts to refer to this article of native clothing as "grass skirts."

The Feds cite individuals like the man pictured at the right as an example of a person who has been using illegal drugs to the point of his sensibility being weakened. He was probably smoking his dress!

SHOCKING ANNOUNCEMENT

The annoucement in and of itself is not shocking. The fact that an announcement was even made is the shocking part of this story.

Chelsea Clinton has endorsed her mom! (Be still my heart, so earth-shattering this news!) I think the reporter(s) who bothered to print this and to release it to the wire services must have been tapping into some of the aforementioned wacky-tobacky!

In making this announcement Chelsea said that she thinks her mother will make a better President than her father. "I think that she'll be a better President because she'll be more progressive and she's more prepared," she said at a campaign event at Duke University. "She'll just hit the ground running from Day One in a way that my father was not as equipped to do."

(Honestly Chelsea, if we really wanted to know how equipped your father is, we would go to a well-informed source such as Monica Lewinsky.)

There is something we really would like to hear from you, Chelsea. If you are endorsing your mother, why is it that you are trying so hard not to look like her? The before and after pictures above suggest you are holding back a little secret.

Why does it take a trusted news source like The Globe for the American public to learn of your plastic surgery? Can breast enhancements be not far behind? ...And oh yeah, only your hairdresser knows for sure, right?

No.1330