Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Obamassiah: the Curse

In a land so distant it was nearby, in an age so long ago it may have been only seventeen months ago ...
...the people lived under the dark rule of the evil Bushmeister.

There came a time when he looked upon his kingdom from his White Castle upon the hill with a look of sorrow upon his furrowed shifty brow. His reign was nearly over he knew, and he was but a detached observer of the battles for his throne.

The earth trembled and the people were sore afraid. The two evil knights had been in battle for a long time. Though both were unfit to rule, the Black Knight and the distaff White Dragon Lady were the last two combatants left standing to claim the Demoncratic Party's nomination.

When the smoke of their final battle wafted into the atmosphere and gagged the people with its foul stench, the White Dragon Lady lay defeated. Yet, with a great disrespect of valor, she failed to yield.

The people of Bushmeister's kingdom were faced to choose the lesser of the two great evils. Not wanting that responsibilty they allowed their elected delegates, who notoriously voted against their wishes, to decide the winner.

To his Highness' horror, the victor proclaimed himself to be the Obamassiah.

The Book of The Obamassiah*

*This appeared , as well at other sites, at Western Voices World News.

The Obamassiah shall reveal himself to us by his teachings, which will be the spoken word in the form of the finest silk and silver.

Do not fear if the words of the Obamassiah are not at first clear, you need only to hear them and believe. Be not afraid if the feeling of a cool breeze runs up one’s leg. Do not fear if the words of his glory remove you from your senses and fainting occurs.

Our savior shall become known to us by the wreath of arugala upon his head and his ears for they shall take the form of the handles of a jug of the finest wine.

The 10 Mandates of the Obamassiah

I. Thou shalt not speak the middle name of the Obamassiah. To do so exposes thee as a racist and it shall not be tolerated.

II. Thou shalt not mention past associations of the Obamassiah. To do so exposes thee as a racist. For despite any recent or current friendship his holiness may have with them, he was only a child when they ran afoul of the law. Or he missed that sermon.

III. Thou shalt not mention praise of the Obamassiah by murderers and tyrants. To do so exposes thee as a racist, it is a sign that thee has truly lost one’s bearings.

IV. Thou shalt not mention the schooling of the Obamassiah at any point in his existence. To do so exposes thee as a racist.

V. Thou shalt not question the Obamassiah more than eight times. To do so exposes thee as a racist. For the time of his holiness is of a value beyond your own.

VI. Thou shalt not question the past of the Obamassiah family arrival or his birth. To do so exposes thee as a racist. For events in time matter not if they occur differently than his holiness speaks of them. It matters only that you believe.

VII. Thou shalt not question the words of the Obamassiah’s spouse. For if her words mirror those of the past associations of his holiness then thee is a racist twice over for the mention of them. (see II)

VIII. The purveyors of words to the people shall cast only praise on the Obamassiah. To turn from this exposes thee as a racist and a soldier of the unbeliever and thee should be cast out and lose any source of livelihood.

IX. Thou shalt not question the patriotism of the Obamassiah. To do so exposes thee as a racist. For by not displaying any outward love for his land only proves his love for his land.



**From IMAO

The Obama is the Democratic nominee, the Democrats thinking he should be president because of how he ______ and what he accomplished when he ______.

I'm sure they'll be able to fill in those blanks before the general election.

Anyway, the Donks have done lists of things McCain is older than (which is pretty much everything except his mother), so here's a list of things Obama has less job experience than.
* A shift manager at McDonalds.

* A churro vendor.

* The guy who makes keys at the Home Depot.

* Successful pimps (it ain't easy).

* An Excel spreadsheet.

* The guy who rips tickets when you enter the movie theater.

* The average seeing-eye dog.

* Duct tape.

* Any CEO.

* Any CFO.

* Any other Os than Obama.

* Any military officer.

* Any military enlisted man.

* Pretty much every other U.S. Senator.

* The average voter.
Can the champion of the Re-pubic-an Party prevent the people's country from becoming an "Obamanation?" Or is the evil Dragon and her Shrek-looking mate still lurking about to fill the land with terror?



kenju said...

I could almost be mad at this - if it weren't so funny.

Fred said...

I guess that's why all the talking heads say that Obama needs a Veep that has gravitas.

I wish they would use words I don't need to think about.

Hale McKay said...


The comparison to Jesus? Or the slam against Obama?

Hale McKay said...


It scares me that so many have referred to him as a "savior."