Thursday, June 12, 2008

Pump and Circumstance


Ten gallons ... forty-one bucks?

Sheesh! If I wanted it up the poop chute that badly, I'd have to think about changing my sexual predisposition! NOT!

Alas and alack, my job requires me to be driving all day. I have no alternative but to pay the freight. I shudder to think that the predictions of $5+ for a gallon of gasoline will come to fruition during the summer.

When push comes to shove? Is that a suggestion for another attack on my backside?

I was watching that movie "Mad Max," you know the movie where gasoline is so precious that people are killing each other for a few gallons. It was set in the future --- I believe it was August. - Jay Leno

Gas Station Owners

Three gas station owners report for their first day in prison.

The prison guard asks one of them, "What are you in for?" He replies, "The government says I charged customers more for my gasoline than other gas stations. I'm in for price gouging."


The guard looks at the second man. "And you?" He answers, "I charged less for my gasoline than everyone else. I'm in for anti-competitive pricing."

The guard looks to the third. "And you?" He shrugs. "I charged the same price for my gasoline as all the other gas stations. I'm in for collusion."


Gassing the Clintons

When the Clinton's were in the White House, Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary's hometown. They are low on fuel so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up.

The attendant comes out and begins to pump gas into the First couple's gas tank. As he is doing this, he looks into the passenger window. "Hey, Hillary. We used to date in high school, do you remember me?", he asks.

They chat for a few minutes, Bill pays and the First couple leaves. As they drive off, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary. "You used to date that guy? Just think what it would be like if you had married him instead of me", he says smugly.

Hillary looks at Bill and shrugs. Then she replies, "Well I guess you'd be pumping gas and he would be the President."

You Gotta Have Faith

A nun who worked for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.

The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.

Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: "Now that is what I call faith!"


No.1376

6 comments:

Skunkfeathers said...

LOL...my recent storm chase into east/central Kansas -- a 16 hour, 800 plus mile round trip -- cost me $110.

*Note to storms: bring it into eastern Colorado, so I can make it a one tank chase*

74WIXYgrad said...

The price of gas
The price of oil
Is now more painful
Than a gluttial boil

Give me more cash
Give me more money
I want to drive
Somewhere with my honey

I go to the station
In my Range Rover
I find out the owner
Is named Ben Dover

Hale McKay said...

Skunk,

Storm chasing is becoming quite an expensive endeavor.

Hale McKay said...

Wixygrad,

LOL, a clever little ditty using that famous back-door man, Ben Dover.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Ho ho har de har har -- the bed pan giveth, and its contents taketh away.

Hale McKay said...

Hoss,

She was panning for liquid gold ...