Boobie Prize

Time to clear out the e-mail box again! I might be mistaken, but I think I found a common theme in some of the mail I received last month.

Poor Maryanne.
She spent all that time applying makeup ...
...And her date never even noticed!

The Price For Perfection
A man was walking down the street when he saw a woman with the most perfect, and I mean PERFECT, breasts he'd ever seen.

He walked up to her and said, "Ma'am, you have perfect breasts, and I will pay you $100 to bite them." The woman was horrified and began to walk away.

The man caught her and said, "Alright, I'll pay you $1,000 to bite your breasts." Still horrified, the woman began to run away.

The man caught her again and said, "Fine. I'll pay you $10,000 to bite your breasts, and not a penny more." The woman then thinks that $10,000 will be worth it, so she finally agreed.

They went into a deserted alley away from the city action. The woman took off her shirt and bra, revealing the perfect breasts. The man then began to touch, squeeze, fondle, poke, and everything to the woman's breasts EXCEPT biting them.

The woman then said, "Well, are you gonna bite them or not?!"

The man replied, "Nah, too expensive."

Barbara was so happy
to have caught the two big bass ...

That she allowed two strangers
to photograph her big ones.

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F
and G are the letters used to define bra sizes?

{A} - Almost Boobs...
{B} - Barely there.
{C} - Can't Complain!
{D} - Damn!
{DD} - Double damn!
{E} - Enormous!
{G} - GEEEEzus Christ!
{F} - Fake.

Careful What You Wish For
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".

Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.

This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".

Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off!

The Proxy
A woman and a baby come into the doctor's office. She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor. After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, "Is he breast fed or on the bottle?"

"Oh ... he is breast fed!", replied the woman.

"Well then, strip down to your waist," orders the doctor.

She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table. The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.

The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says: "No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don't have any milk!"

The woman with a wry grin on her face responds: "Well of course I don't." "I'm his aunt - but I'm sure glad I brought him in!"

Larger Breasts Trick

A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.

The husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.

“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”

The husband shrugs. “Why not, it worked for your ass, didn't it?”

No.1401