Try some of these and listen and laugh while you read this blog.
(These are not your father's Christmas carols.)
I've come to the conclusion that Christmas is weird. Think about it. What other time of the year do you sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
The three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season:
1) "Peace on Earth"
2) "Goodwill to Men"
3) "Batteries not Included"
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he shouted.
Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!"
My drive-through gave to me
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chili,
Seven pints of cole slaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three Biggie Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.