Thursday, February 05, 2009

Press One For English

There's one thing that really gets under my skin ...
...You dial the number of a place of business and you get a recording saying,
"Press one for English."
WTF over? I already speak English! Why should I have to press one? Why should I have to press anything?
I'm placing a phone call from my home to a retail place of business, both of which happen to be in the same time zone, area code and zip code, and I have to press '1' for English?

Funny, the last thing I remember when I placed the call in the first place, I wasn't calling up inquiring about foreign language courses!

Years ago when I finished matriculating and received my diploma, I was under the impression that I'd no longer have to deal with multiple choice exams.

If I'm craving Chinese food and I call up for delivery at Won Hung Low's or Wang's Dragon I should hear:
Close enough!
How do I really feel? Well, if you really want to know, you'll have press something.

No, not '1' - but the arrow thingy below:


The above video with the song was made in 2007? I don't know how I ended up not ever seeing it until yesterday. (Thanks, Josey.) In any event, its message is as fresh today as was then.

I've never listened to rest of these recordings to see what language options are available. I'd guess that they would include: Spanish, French, Chinese, German, Russian, etc.

I wonder if they offer dialects too? You know, like Brooklyn-ese (press the thoid button) ; redneck (y'all press one iffin to talk to Bubba) ; or gangsta (yo whazzup?)

If I was to ever decide to set up my home phone with language options, I would give the caller these options:
☺ Begin talking
☺ If you do not speak English press any number 1-9 for this message:
Hang up and call back when you learn English.
I liked the above song and especially its message so much that I even added it to the top of my sidebar for a while. Feel free to play it whenever you stop by.
'Nuff Said?


Skunkfeathers said...

Wait 'til English as language choice is relegated to #3...or #4...#5..etc...

Hale McKay said...


Jeesh! I never even thought of that!

And it probably will happen too.

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

I live in central California. It's Mexifornia here. There are signs in Spanish everywhere. I can go to the mall and hear nothing but Spanish. Most of the people are illegal aliens. Don't even get me started. We are overrun with uneducated Mexican nationals. Overrun. Anyone doing anything about it? Nope. Need the labor in the fields. Pisses me off.

Have a terrific day. :)

Hale McKay said...


I know it is a problem - but like the song - speak ENGLISH!