Captain Caption America

They say a picture is worth a thousand words ...

or a few lines of nonsensical captions.

Melon-choly Baby
While in the produce department of a local supermarket, I spotted two luscious melons.

I tried to snap a picture. Unfortunately, my view of them was blocked by these two Crenshaws.

She promptly put them into her shopping cart and crossed off "ostrich eggs" from her shopping list.

She lay awake that night wondering how the cashier at the checkout register knew she was a blonde.

Why the man behind her was staring at the cucumber display is anyone's guess.


Down Under
A breathtaking view of some twin peaks.

This photo was taken seconds before she stepped on the cellphone camera and the photographer's head.

As she danced wildly to the uptempo music, my attention was focused on a single thread that was slowly and inexplicably unraveling her knit top.


Hot Wheels
The latest innovation in driving safety: reusable airbags!

A commercial BMW hoped would boost sales of their cars, but it failed when potential male buyers learned the car came without the woman.


Sunbathers Must Wear Suits
"The new Brazilian bikinis are not as comfortable as they are cracked up to be," say those women daring enough to wear them.

Then they added, "But you do get meet a lot of cute guys!"

Thought For The Day:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Now, a Word From the Sponsor
Tired of those bland, weak pilsner beers out there.

Tell your bartender you want Panther Pee.

You'll see why we call this new beer the finest Pissner on the market.

If you're going to piss it down the toilet, why drink the real thing?
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