Saturday, March 21, 2009

A Penny Saved Is 99 Cents Short of a Dollar


After the outrageous payout of seven-figure bonuses to its executives by AIG management, other mainstream companies would be wise to consider alternative means to reward their employees.

(See cartoon.)

Was it so long ago when if one screwed up on their job that they'd be summarily dismissed? Was it not so that you couldn't collect unemployment compensation? You'd have been foolish to even expect to get a good reference.

AIG was contractually obligated to pay out those bonuses? (No small print that stated they get nothing if they fail?)

Are not bonuses paid out as rewards for jobs well done?

Let me see if I got this straight ...

They made poor decisions which not only placed AIG in financial ruin but also contributed greatly to the current state of the economy, therefore they are to be rewarded because they are valuable assets to the company.

One more question ...

HOW CAN I GET A JOB LIKE THAT?

AIG, do you see that stack of money over there with the eyeballs?

"That's the money you could have saved if you had not hired those greedy incompetent sons of bitches in the the first place!"

...And see that larger stack of money over there with buttocks on it?

"That's the asses of the taxpayers you've been violating!"

There is one thing AIG and its ilk have not ruined, and if nothing else have contributed to, and that is humor and jokes about the economy.

☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

"Even in this recession my wife keeps asking me for more and more money," a husband complained to his friend.

"And what does she do with all the money?" the friend asked.

"I don't know," the husband said. "I haven't given her any yet."

☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Obama.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord.

It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

1643

6 comments:

Phils Phun said...

G'day Mate
Have pinched a couple of your jokes
Cheers from down under

Skunkfeathers said...

I don't know enough about the contract doings that set this thing up; but I DO know that Dems, when crafting their stimulus bill, put an exemption in the bill to let AIG pay the bonuses. So this feigned outrage is a joke and a smoke screen from the Dems, far as I'm concerned.

As for a job that pays bonuses, I have no idea what that's like: never had one ;) For me, a bonus is still having a job.

Cliff said...

Never before have so many been screwed so badly by so few.

Hale McKay said...

Wixy,

A very fitting play on the words of Winston Churchill.

Hale McKay said...

Skunk,

I once received three weeks pay as a bonus. Any others over the years usually were replete with turkeys.

Hale McKay said...

Phil,

Cheers right back atcha.

Pinch away, as I do from you time to time.