Queer Beer Summit Insincere

President Barack Obama: "The Cambridge police acted stupidly."

WRONG, Obummer! You you opened your mouth and spoke out ... stupidly!

Look Obama Wan Kenobi, it was you who created the disturbance in the (Cambridge police) force!

President Obama played bartender-in-chief on Thursday at a "beer summit." (It should come as no surprise that his bartending skills proved to be as inept as his Presidential skills have been.)

He met with the main players in a racially charged case (After he poured gasoline on the fire) hoping it would be a "positive lesson" in a national dialogue on race. (It wasn't.)

Obama, the first black U.S. president, (stop reminding us!) said it was a "friendly, thoughtful" conversation over beer at the White House with prominent Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, who is black, and police Sergeant James Crowley, who is white.

Crowley arrested Gates, a well-known documentary filmmaker, (Never heard of him!) for disorderly conduct on July 16 after a confrontation at the professor's home, sparking a media frenzy as Gates, 58, accused the policeman of racial profiling. Crowley, who had taught courses against racial profiling, denied that.

Obama inflamed the situation by saying he thought police "acted stupidly" in arresting his friend. (How is it that another black man doing something wrong is suddenly your friend?)

"I have always believed that what brings us together is stronger than what pulls us apart," Obama said in a statement after the meeting in a garden outside the Oval Office. (If that is so, why did you "hitch your tractor" to Gates' story without first looking at the facts.)

"I am confident that has happened here tonight, and I am hopeful that all of us are able to draw this positive lesson from this episode." (Some of us will, it's a shame you and Gates won't.)

Race remains a prominent and sensitive issue in the United States, which has struggled to overcome a legacy of slavery, segregation and discrimination. (It's a shame that some people like Gates and yourself prefer to perpetuate that legacy.)

Crowley said it was a private and frank discussion, adding he and Gates have different perspectives. (Perpetrators and the law always have different perspectives.)

"I think what you had today was two gentlemen (Who walked in?) who agreed to disagree on a particular issue," Crowley told reporters. "I don't think that we spent too much time dwelling on the past. We spent a lot of time discussing the future." (Like, maybe Obummer won't serve skunky beer the next time.)

Asked about the president's contribution to the meeting, Crowley said: "He provided the beer." (All hail the chief!)

Gates said he and Crowley had been cast together "through an accident of time and place" (It was an accident that he gave a policeman a hard time?) and must use the opportunity "to foster greater sympathy among the American public for the daily perils of policing (Especially when responding to 9-1-1 calls.) on the one hand, and for the genuine fears of racial profiling (Like using it as a crutch when one is wrong.) on the other hand."

Obama's job approval rating has fallen from 61 percent in mid-June to 54 percent now, in part due to his handling of the Gates-Crowley situation, a Pew Research Center poll found.

Obama and the White House had tried to lower expectations for the gathering, saying there would be no big announcements and portraying it as just three guys having a beer. (I thought so - Biden crashed the party!)


NATIONAL DEBATE

The menu for the meeting round an outside table in the warm Washington afternoon featured each man's preferred brew: Bud Light for Obama, (He was out of Ripple.) Blue Moon for Crowley and Sam Adams Light for Gates. Vice President Joe Biden, also at the table, had a Buckler nonalcoholic beer. (A chaser for the Wild Turkey nip in his pocket.)

The men drank from clear glass mugs (People often look better from the bottom of a glass.) and munched on peanuts and pretzels (Stolen from a Southwest Airlines flight) served in small silver bowls. (White House security kept close watch on those bowls, although it was not stated if they were watching anyone in particular.) Gates and Crowley brought their families to the White House and they toured the East Wing together before they sat down with Obama.

A national debate about the arrest, the reaction and the "beer summit" carried into evening news shows as commentators dissected the implications of the meeting for the race issue. (Why not make a non-story into a major story!)

Crowley arrested Gates after being dispatched to the house to investigate a possible burglary in progress. Gates had returned from a trip to China to discover his door jammed. (Funny - in his initial statement, he said he'd forgotten his keys.)

Obama's remark about the arrest during a televised news conference (When he should have been talking about something far more important.) became a major talking point in the United States, with critics saying he had insulted Crowley and the police department in Cambridge, Massachusetts. (He did!) Some conservative commentators have accused Obama of racism. (If the shoe fits ...)

After a two-day frenzy that distracted public attention from Obama's push to reform the U.S. healthcare system, (This provided him with an excuse to avoid further criticism of his lame ideas on the matter.) the president called Crowley to say he should have chosen his words more carefully. (No shit, Sherlock!) The White House meeting grew out of that conversation. (Of course, he probably told Gates that he should have used stronger words.)

Conveniently, left out of most national coverages of "Gates Gate," was that the woman neighbor who placed the 9-1-1 call has been labeled as a racist and a trouble-maker! Although the tape of the 9-1-1 call has been released and revealed no racial references whatsoever, the woman continues to be harassed by the press and minority groups. (How dare she call the police when she sees two men trying to break down and pry open a door to a house.)

Little has been made of the fact that when asked for identification, Gates immediately launched himself into a series of racially-charged epithets at the white officer who dared to confront him.

"Do you know who I am?" he demanded of the officer. (No, he didn't know who you were, asshole. Until that evening neither did most of America!)

I dare say that if he were alive today, Will Rogers would have modified his now famous quotation. (We would all be saying that Will Rogers never met Henry Louis Gates.)

Also largely ignored is the fact that Crowley's black partner at the scene of the arrest stated that the only racial remarks all came from the mouth of Gates. He stated that Gates caused a scene and was justifiably arrested for disturbing the peace.

In closing, I am left with a puzzling question. Why wasn't Crowley's partner and the woman who made the 9-1-1 call invited to this "insincere queer beer summit?"

I'm joking. I know the answer. We all know the answer. The story would have been proven to be what it was - a non-story! (Both Obummer and Gates would have been exposed as the morons we know they are!)

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