Something Borrowed Stolen

I "borrowed" this from John. Of course, I took some liberty and I changed his home state Texas references to those of the state of West Virginia from where I originally hailed.


Balance, Sayeth the Lord
God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, “and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, pointed to a land area and said, "What's that?"

"That's the State of West Virginia, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful rivers, mountains, streams, lakes, forests, and hills. The people from the State of West Virginia are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about Balance, God? You said there would be Balance."

God smiled, "There's Washington, DC. Wait till you see the idiots I put there!"



I "borrowed" this one from Mushy.

Gennaro's New Shoes
Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much...it's all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.

Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time. He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'

Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Gennaro, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'

Gennaro answers, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, 'Rosa, do you wear white panties tonight?'

Rosa answers, 'Yes, Gennaro, I do, but how do you know that?'

He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Gennaro asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns red. He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart, please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!'

Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Gennaro, I wear no panties tonight.'

Gennaro gasps, ‘Thanka God...I thought I had a CRACK in my $300 Boccelli leather shoes!'

I "borrowed" the cartoon from Mushy too. :o}

Obama's Dictionary

Word of the Day - Summit
Can I have summit?
№ 1757