the Obama Administration has reintroduced a 250-year-old
technological wonder to Washington, D.C.*
You might be wondering what sort of individual(s) would allow themselves to be subjected to such a nefarious device.
To many, Hank Hill needs no introduction. He is the paternal figure of the Hill family on the animated cartoon program, The King of the Hill. For thirteen plus years he was the manager of Strickland Propane and often professed that he sells propane and propane accessories.
When he learned that the program was in its final season of production, he began to wonder about his future and how he will support his wife Peggy and son Bobby.
The following is a transcript of an interview that Hank granted this blogger:
HANK: "I'll tell you what, President Obama's Smoke Enema has a bright future. I was happy to get in on the ground floor of this technology. I made a living selling propane and propane accessories, so I know something about gas. Now rectal gas might be comprised of methane, but gas is gas. If you don't believe me, just you try eating a bowl of my wife Peggy's chili and broccoli casserole."
HALE: "If the President's experiment with the smoke enema device fails, do have any other career opportunities?"
HANK: "Well, I do know something about plate tectonics."
HALE: "Interesting. Where did you study seismology?"
HANK: "Size-mology? I'm not talking about some fat lady trying on britches too small for her fat ass. I'm talking about one plate moving under another one."
HALE: "Like the Pacific plate?"
HANK: "There's no specific plate, son. One plate's the same as any other."
HALE: "True. Vulcanism affects all the plates."
HANK: "Vulcanism? I ain't talking about some pointy-eared character on Star Trek!"
HALE: "Right," (Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here.) "We were talking about plate tectonics, weren't we?"
HANK: "Well, one of us was."
HALE: "Yes. So, tell me, when did you become interested in plate tectonics?"
HANK: "Three times a day, everyday."
HALE: "Three times a day?"
HANK: "Yeah, three times. I don't know about you, but that's how many meals we have everyday at our house."
HALE: "Meals? Hmmmm. Meals have something to do with plate tectonics, how?"
HANK: "Now you're talking like Yoder on Star Wars? Son, you've been watching too much science friction."
HALE: "Uh, yeah. Let me rephrase the question. How did your meals make you interested in plate tectonics?"
HANK: "Easy. When ever I would hear Peggy sliding one plate off the others while she was setting the table, I knew we would be eating very soon."
HALE: "Ah, yes. Plate tectonics. Mr. Hill you certainly are a learned man."
HANK: "Learn-ed? It's good to see that you watch programs that are not science friction."
HANK: "She played the mother on Little House on the Prairie. You know, the actress with a boy's first name - Michael Learned."
HALE: "Ah, of course!"
It was there that the interview came to an end. From the dining room I could hear the sound of the plates moving. A sound ... like that of an earthquake rumbled in Hank's stomach.