Santa, you ignored my list - again!
I told you I was going to post the list on my blog, didn't I?
You'll note that I didn't ask for anything for myself. Look, I'm not ungrateful. I appreciate what you DID bring me this year.
I can always use the underwear, but I prefer briefs over boxers. What's with the tube socks - and where's the *&^#ing heel?
That sure is a nifty barbecue apron and matching mitt with the Coca Cola logo. ( Now all I gotta do is buy an outdoor grill so I can use them.)
What an interesting flashlight! You don't need batteries. You just shake it back and forth in your hand a few times and - voila - it lights up. You know, with the same motion I can ...(ahem).
Aw, how cute! WTF? A Chia Pet bust of ... President Obama? Really!
Thanks for the gift certificates to that restaurant. I think I remember that McDonalds was selling those for 10 for $5 with the purchase of any Value Meal. I can see that you spared no expense there. ( I hope you enjoyed that Big Mac, biggie fries and large drink.)
That mood DVD was sort of neat, but I think it was defective. It was nice to see those logs burning in a fireplace on my TV set, but I don't think it's going to save me much on my heating bill. ( Maybe you should have given me one of those blankets with the sleeves.)
The desk calendar will come in handy. 365 Wacky Web Sites, eh? ( Like I don't spend enough time on the computer as it is!)
You know, I think I'll let you off the hook, Santa. I realize you're a busy man with a lot of responsibilities and demands placed upon you. ( I don't want to know what you do in your spare time cooped up in that shack at the North Pole with all those elves ...)
Here's the deal. I'm giving you my Christmas list for NEXT year now! Like this year's list, I'm posting it here on my site also. ( A redhead like the one pictured would make a nice accessory.)
There's no pressure. You've got a whole year to work on it. In the meantime, I'll use my new flashlight to stay in (ahem) shape, if you get my drift.
Maybe next year you'll deliver the goods.
I believe in you!