Thursday, January 07, 2010

Maxims - ala Maxine


As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, Remember

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss ...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

8.. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

9 My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

10. A blonde said, 'I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.'

11. Definition of a teenager?
God's punishment...for enjoying sex.

12... As you slide down the banister of life, may
The splinters never point the wrong way.

(Thanks Earl for e-mailing this.)



Jack K. said...

Great advice. The pics didn't appear at my end.

Maxine is always on target.

Sandee said...

Maxine always gets it right. She just does. I love that crusty old broad.

Have a terrific day. :)

Hale McKay said...


I originally copied and pasted the images and the words from the e-mail.

The pictures didn't take. So I copied them individually and re-added them to the post. You should see them okay now.

Hale McKay said...


But a very likable "old crusty broad."