Nom De Plums

Author Please!
Here's a treat (?) for all avid readers. The following books may not make the New York Times' Best Seller List, but they are guaranteed to bring either a smile to your face or a groan in your throat.

It was a rather childish and thoroughly enjoyable form of punning. They don't rank up there with such classics as "Under the Bleachers" by Seymour Butts or "Yellow River" by I.P. Freely, but I tried.

You may have to read some of the authors' names aloud to get them. You might consider letting the first and last names "run-in" to each other. Also, a little phonetic liberty has been taken on several of them. (If you are stumped on any of the titles and authors, list them in the comments section and I'll "translate" them for you. I hope!)

AWFUL AUTHORS
Religion - by Abel Lever

Big White Bird - by Albert Ross

Sorry! - by Anna Poloji

The Solitary Beast - by Annie Malone

The Singer - by Barry Tone

The Blessing - by Benny Dixon

The Tightrope Walker - by Betty Falls

Urban Areas - by Bill Tupp

My Life as a Cowboy - by Brandon Steers

English Breakfast - by Chris P. Bacon and Ann Negg

That's Life - by Cilla Vee

The Lion-Tamer - by Claud Face

The Poker Player - by Delia Cards

Prehistoric Reptiles - by Dinah Soar and Terry Dactyl

The Building - by Eddy Fiss

Ships in Harbor - by Dr. Longside

The Open Window - by Eileen Doubt

The Visitor - by Enoch Zatador

The Broken Window - by Eva Brick

The End Of The Week - by Gladys Friday

Under Arrest - by Hank Uft

Make Your Home Secure - by Havelock Smith

Lady Godiva - by Honor Whitesteed

Frankenstein Meets Dracula - by Horace Tory

King Kong - by Hugh Jape

I'll Follow - by Hugo First

Reminiscence - by Ira Member

Drafts - by Dora Jarr

Make 'em Laugh - by Joe King

At The Eleventh Hour - by Justin Time

Fried Chicken - by Ken Tucky

Slimming - by Lena Boddy

Paint Ingredient - by Linsey Doyle

Keeping The Peace - by Lorne Order

Painting Walls - by Matt Coats

How To Have Fun - by Meryl Lee

Spoil The Child - by Molly Coddle

The Gardener - by Moses Lawn

The Void - by M. T. Ness

Journey Across The Desert - by Mustapha Kamel

On Bended Knee - by Neil Down

D-Day - by Norman D. Landing

The Unexpected - by Oliver Sudden

Clementine - by Omar Darling

Primitive Transports - by Orson Cart

The Debtor - by Owen Munny

The Funeral - by Paul Bearer

Don't Give Up - by Percy Vere

A Visit To The Dentist - by Phil McAvity

The Cavalryman - by Rhoda Norse

The Bouncing Bullet - by Rick O'Shay

Crime Does Pay - by Robin Banks

Continental Breakfast - by Roland Coffy

Cereal Story - by Ryan Dotes

The Excursion - by Sally Forth

That Can't Be Right - by Shirley Nott

Where's My Hat? - by Sonia Head

How To Be Noticed - by Stan Dout

Bliss - by Trudy Light

You're a Big Boy Now - by Tyrone Laces

Rocks Ahead - by Vera Way

Triumphant Procession - by Victor E. March

№ 1893