When you wish upon a star ... Makes no difference who you are ...
- Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket
So I thought I might look into a career as a male model. You know, just to make a few extra bucks to supplement my income. I figure six figures would just about do it.
My first interview didn't go so well. Those people at Playgirl turned me down. The woman editor said I didn't measure up. I'm still wondering exactly what she meant by that.
Cosmopolitan said they were in negotiations with Andy Dick and weren't looking for any other male models at that time.
I was disappointed and I was mad. How mad was I? I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo. I was madder than an albino hitchhiking in a blizzard.
So much for spreads and centerfolds!
Perhaps, I thought, I'd have a shot as a cover model. I didn't have much luck there either, especially when Mad Magazine said they already had one Alfred E. Neuman. What in the hell was that supposed to mean?
Then someone suggested I could do covers for those romance novels. Hmmm ... I thought. Models on paperback novels, especially the romance ones, get to pose with beautiful women!
Count me in!
I wondered why they put so much white powder and makeup on me. Then I saw the finished photograph that would be used for a paperback cover. They did some touching-up of the pic - on the girl's image, but not mine.
When I saw the picture again the lettering for the novel had been superimposed on the image. A vampire? I looked like a cross between myself and Casper the Friendly Ghost!
My agent added insult to injury and said, "You have a face that's perfect for radio!"
Then I shrugged and lamented, "Truthfully, it's the kind of face made for blogging!"
You can put your face on the cover of a romance novel too! You can also edit the title, author and review quotation. To give it a try, visit Romance Novel Yourself.