Monday, April 05, 2010

Back in the Saddle

The Masters

...And Tiger is back in the saddle again!

What do you supposed Tiger Woods' wife thought about his return to the PGA Tour?

Four married guys, one of whom being Tiger Woods, go golfing. While playing the 4th hole, the following conversation took place:

1st Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

2nd Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife I will build a new deck for the pool."

3rd Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife I will remodel the kitchen for her.

They continued to play the hole when they realized that Tiger hadn't said anything. So they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Tiger: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. and when it went off, I shut off the alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, 'golf course or intercourse?' And she said, 'Wear your sweater'".

Tiger Woods' Customized Tees -->

What Do Golfers Talk About Over Drinks?

Tiger Woods and two other men are in a bar, all very drunk, and talking to each other, bragging about their families.

The first guy says, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The second guy says, "That's nothin'. I have ten sons. One more and I'll have a football team."

Tiger guy, the drunkest of them all replies "You guys haven't found true happiness. I have seventeen mistresses. One more and I'll have a golf course."

She Should've Known

Tiger was getting married, and was standing by his bride at the church.

Standing by him is his golf clubs and bag.

His bride whispers: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

And Tiger said "This is not going to take all day is it?"

The Lamaze Class

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet. Finally, Tiger Woods in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" replied the teacher.

.. "Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"



Sandee said...

Bwahahahahaha. Poor Tiger...will it ever end? No it won't.

Have a terrific day. :)

Duke_of_Earle said...

But I thought eleven sons would MAKE a football team. Is the 12th a coach?

Hale McKay said...


For Tiger, will it ever end?

--I hope not.

Hale McKay said...


Son of a gun ...! I copied and pasted that joke, took the trouble to insert Tiger Woods into, and then I somehow missed the count for a football team.

I will fix it. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. (Blush!)