A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.
Wife: 'What are you doing dear?'
Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females'
Wife: 'How do you know which gender they were?'
Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other 2 were on the phone'
It's Time To Retire When...
There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. You forget the other two.
... when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
... when work is a lot less fun - and fun is a lot more work.
... when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
... when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
... when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
... when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
... when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before!
... when you lean over to pick something up off the floor, you ask yourself if there is anything else you need to do while you are down there.
Why this post with a retirement theme, you might wonder ?
Well, I've decided that I've reached the crossroads.
Last week I came to the conclusion that it was about time to turn that page to the next chapter of my life.
I've been pretty much semi-retired for a year now because of the available work due to the economy and the early signs of health issues. Those health issues aren't really serious, but they are precursors of the future.
So, why wait until my health dictates how much longer I remain in the work force? Why not enjoy retirement while I'm relatively healthy?
Once I'd reached that decision, I had to next decide when that momentous decision should go into effect. Actually, it was an easy decision as it turns out.
I wanted to be fair to my employer. They've been good to me over the years, so I felt I needed to give them a fighting chance to replace me and to reassign my clients to other workers.
I didn't need to glance at the calendar to know that winter is fast approaching. However, a glance at the calendar did show me that the last day of December happens to fall on a Friday.
So it will be, that on December 31, 2010, I will be employed for the last time. I'll start the New Year - retired!