The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."
"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."
The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."
The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."
The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"
"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice God said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over any time I want."
God replied, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking, think of the steel it would take. I can do this but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a minute and think of something that could possibly help man kind."
The biker thought, finally he said, "God I wish all men could understand women, how she feels, what shes thinking, why she cries, what she means when she says something is wrong, why she snaps and how to make her truly happy."
God replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
1. Passionate Lady 2. Bare Belly 3. Silk Panties 4. Conscience 5. Jockey Shorts 6. Clean Sheets 7. Smooth Thighs 8. Big Johnson 9. Heavy Bosom 10. Merry Cherry
And they're off!
Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry!
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Smooth Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the halfway mark it's Bare Belly on top!
Smooth Thighs open up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Smooth Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly!
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson!
At the stretch Merry Cherry cracks under the strain.
Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming!
At the finish it's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady taking everything Big Johnson has to offer!
It looks like a dead heat but Big Johnson squirts through and wins by a head!
Heavy Bosom weakens and Smooth Thighs pulls-up the rear.
Clean Sheets never had a chance.