Saturday, June 11, 2011

Smokers Synonymous

I don't want to become one of those obnoxious ex-smokers! You know the ones I mean - the ones who have taken up a cross and have set out on a crusade to make life miserable for those who still smoke.

No, I won't be one of those who pontificate against that nasty addiction. But having just recently begun the process of giving up smoking, I will maintain a measure of advocacy for the rights of smokers. Besides, I'm not that far removed from lighting up myself. I can only claim to be an ex-smoker for six days and that hardly qualifies me as one who has successfully kicked the habit.

The last three weeks have seen a decline in my output and my attention to this blog. On the 24th of last month I was given new prescriptions for my blood pressure, iron count and water retention. Then on the 5th of this month, last Sunday, I applied the first Nicoderm patch onto my arm. Thankfully, the patch, so far, has proven effective.

I have been noticing brief periods of light-headedness and difficulty concentrating. Although I've had some post ideas, it seems that every time I sit down at the keyboard I go blank or lose my desire to type the thoughts to the blog.

I can only assume that the combination of new meds might be responsible of the light-headedness. Perhaps the lack of concentration is a side effect of the patch? Perhaps it's all in my head ...

... I mean, I had never posted to my blog without a lit cigarette close at hand. I keep thinking I should take a drag ... BUT ... I'm not actually craving a cigarette - at least not consciously. They say the urge never goes away ...

To those who have been reading and following my story, Butterfly Dreams, I am working on it ... really! It's ironic, but there are only about TWO installments left until its conclusion. I have to keep backtracking to previous chapters to make sure I'm tying up any loose ends.

Next Wednesday I have an appointment - more blood work - and will inquire about light head and lack of concentration. The following Tuesday there will be a follow-up appointment to assess the results of the blood work. (Hopefully the iron count will have improved, the blood pressure will have come down and the water retention will have been brought under control.)

Why Not Post Some Smoking Humor?

I had been a heavy smoker since I was a teenager, but to my surprise was able to quit "cold turkey." However, my weight shot up and I felt very self-conscious. When a friend congratulated me on giving up cigarettes, I exclaimed, "But look at all these added pounds!"

Her reply was one I'll always treasure. "Oh, my dear, don't worry about that!" she said. "Just think of all the extra years you will have in which to lose them."

A young couple had been married for a couple of weeks, and the man was always after his wife to quit smoking.

One afternoon, she lit up after some lovemaking, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth."

She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he never had.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse?"

A tobacco company had heard that the oldest citizen of a certain
village had been smoking their product for over fifty years. They
dispatched a public-relations man to the village to interview him.
“Sir,” the P.R. man said, “we are prepared to fly you to California
to appear on an early morning television show to give a testimonial
about our tobacco company.”
“Can’t do it!” replied the seasoned smoker.
“You can’t do it?” asked the P.R. man. “Don’t you want a free plane
ticket to California?”
“Yep, I’d like to go to California, but I can’t do it.”
“Well, Sir,” said the P.R. man, “we’re prepared to put you up in one
of the nicest hotels in Los Angeles for at least three nights. Wouldn’t
that be wonderful?”
“Yep, it would be wonderful, but I can’t do it!”
“Why can’t you do it?” screamed the P.R. man.
“Well, young fellow,” he said, “I can’t fly to California and appear
on that morning television show to give a testimonial about your tobacco
because I don’t stop coughing until noon!”

Three little boys were sitting on a porch. One says, "My daddy smokes and he can blow smoke rings."
~~The second boy pipes up, "Well my daddy smokes too, and he can blow smoke out of his eyes."
~~The third one, not to be outdone, responds, "My dad can blow smoke out of his butt!"
~~"Really?" said his friends amazed. "Have you seen him do it?"
~~The boy shook his head and answered, "No, but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."



Sandee said...

I'm proud of you Mike. One day at a time. I quit and I don't miss them one bit. I don't crave a smoke, and I can't stand the smell of lit cigarettes. I don't get on folks that still smoke though. It's their life.

Have a terrific day. :)

Mike Golch said...

Mike,Great for yor, as Sandee said,don't get on smokes it's their life to destroy.I have to blow my own horn a little here I quite smoking July 16,1994.

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Anonymous said...

I'm still smoking, but have tried to quit a time or two. Will try again. The patch gave me odd results and I had to swear off. Hope it all works out great for you.

Steve in Germany