Only 358 Shopping Days Until Christmas

Look at this collector's item I found! Imagine, a New Year's greeting card from the year 27 !

If one of your New Year's resolutions was to stop smoking, Check this out!

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Anonymous

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintances be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

On this the first day of the year 2007, the only hangover I am experiencing is the juxtaposition of my abdominal flesh in relation to my belt. Thankfully, I'm not hungover the porcelain altar giving offerings to the Gods.
....I haven't stopped to smell the roses, @~>~~~but I always marvel at the creativity that produces those magnificent floats in the Tournament of Roses Parade.

Rabbit! Rabbit! According to the Pez family of bloggers, especially Aral, if you say "Rabbit! Rabbit!" at the start of each month, you will have good luck all month along. That declaration when posted is usually accompanied with a rabbit image.
....These two cute bunnies might be a little early for Easter, but who can turn down a basket of goodies? Don't be surprised if Flopsy and Floppy show up again at Easter time on a Blog near you. I feel lucky already!

I wouldn't call New Year's Day activities around my house traditional in a celebratory sense, but if I could Xerox this day I would be able to use it again next year. Interspersed between moments of relaxation there is the annual rite of removing all signs of Christmas. Did I really make 32 trips up and down the stairs to and from the attic to retrieve all that decoration paraphernalia?
....Is it me, or don't we need a day off from work to recover from a holiday off from work? How many Christmas decorations will I find in the next two weeks that missed storage?

Ladies, remember that collectible New Year's card from the year 27 above? Well, I found this one for you! It's suitable for framing!

With the Christmas decorations stored, and after a few hours of football, we finally settled at the table for some home-made Southern fried chicken and all the fixings! As I settled back in my recliner, my belly full, I took in some more football.
....That respite gave me some time to reflect about today's posting. I had an idea what I might write, but I wasn't sure of a title. Then I looked upon the new calendar ... and then I realized to my horror ...

There are only 358 shopping days until Christmas!

No.849

Clock Watching

Once again the world is ushering in a New Year as 2006 gives way to 2007. Billions of people will be clock watching as midnight on December 31 draws near.

I've seen more New Year's than I really care to remember. Having said that, I cannot help but marvel at the changes in the five decades of New Years that have occurred on my watch.
....Once upon a time the transistor had revolutionized the world of communications, making the world much smaller. Now, that technological wonder is all but forgotten. ...And oh, how our entertainment has changed.

In retrospect: the 50's -»
In the early 50's TV programs were only aired for three hours in the evenings. The rest of the day the only image on your set, which was a piece of furniture itself, was the Indian head test pattern.

....Do you remember? Poodle skirts, cardboard record players, drive-in diners, Bill Haley & the Comets, 3D Movies, Christine Jorgensen, Ozzie & Harriet, Silly Putty, DA's, Gidget, the Edsel, the Rosenberg Trial, The Fly, Ding Dong School, "Klattu Borado Nikto", hula hoops, I Love Lucy, Ben Hur, McCarthyism, Kukla,Fran & Ollie, transistor radios, penny loafers, I Like Ike, Pinkie Lee, juke boxes, "Duck and cover.", Howdy Doody, View Masters, Lassie, "Say the magic word and win $100."
In Retrospect: the 60's -»
....Do you remember? FM Radio, "Mary Ann or Ginger?", The Beatles, S&H Green Stamps, the TV Dinner, The Banana Splits, mini-skirts, Lost In Space, Tupperware, Hai Karate, the Frito Bandito, "To boldly go where no man has gone before.", Camelot, the Smothers Brothers, UHF TV, The Valley of the Dolls, bikinis, Tang, Tonka Toys, "The Eagle has landed.", game shows, pop-top cans, Hullabaloo, Julia Child, the Ford Mustang, "Eeep Opp Ork Ah Ah", Kent State, Xerox copiers, Arpnet - the forerunner of the Internet, Peyton Place, "Far out, man!", color television, Viet Nam, Aluminum Christmas trees, Jimmi Hendrix, Polaroid cameras, Hawaii Five-0, "Sock it to me!", The Twist, The Bay of Pigs, Born To Be Wild, the Nixon-Kennedy debates, Bonanza, Woodstock, Your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

In Retrospect: the 70's -»
....Do you remember? the Bicentennial, L'eggs, SNL, Charlie's Angels, earth shoes, Play-Doh, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!", Queen, Mr. Microphone, CB radios, Holly Hobby, Happy Meals, Atari, "In a galaxy far, far away...", The Partridge Family, Wolfman Jack, Photomats, Mood Rings, Disco, Weebles, The Blues Brothers, "Goodnight, John-Boy", The Mod Squad, Etch-a-Sketch, The Village People, Saturday Night Fever, Billy Beer, macrame, Airplane, Pet Rocks, Nancy Drew, Ronco Pocket Fisherman, Slinky, "Kiss my grits!", Jack In The Box, Sea Monkeys, 45 RPM record adaptors, Hot Wheels, lava lamps, Self-serve Gas Stations, leisure suits, Playboy Clubs, Airstream trailors, "Jane, you ignorant slut!", Grease, mock turtle necks, Dressy Bessy, energy crisis,
7-Eleven, wrap-around skirts, Simon, 8-Track tapes, The Brady Bunch, bell bottoms, "I'd rather fight than switch.", polyester, mini,midi & maxi skirts, Happy Days, Animal House, "Sometimes you feel like a nut..".

In retrospect: the 80s -»
....Do you remember? Rubik's Cube, Jamaican Bobsled Team, The Far Side, Pac-Man, futons, Home-Shopping Network, "Do you believe in miracles?", Yakov Smirnoff, Smurfs, Urban Cowboy, Baby Jessica, Max Headroom, Trivial Pursuit, MTV, the Space Shuttle,
E.T., Milli Vanilli, Mount St. Helens, Madonna, Apple Computer, Knight Rider, Buhwheet, Space Shuttle Challenger tragedy, Care Bears, The Family Feud, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, "Who shot J.R.?", the Super Bowl Shuffle, Yuppies, American Bandstand goes off the air - 1988, Ghostbusters, Speak & Spell, Howard the Duck, Chernobyl, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!", Tylenol tampering, Little Shop of Horrors, Strawberry Shortcake, Satellite television, The fall of the Berlin Wall.

In retrospect: the 90's -»
....Do you remember? eBay, cell phones, Starbucks, Free Willy, Judge Judy, AOL, " I'm Tom Bodet, and we'll keep the light on for you.", Home Alone, debit cards, prenuptials, "Wazzup!", Kwanzaa, Married With Children, veggie burgers, Fax machines, The Real World, Hooters, dollar stores, The Spice Girls, Mrs. Doubtfire, tattoos, Infomercials, Napster, The WB, Psychic Friends Network, nylon mesh sponges, Sony Playstation, Furby, toe rings, the Dancing Baby, South Park, gourmet coffee, Amazon.com, leggings, Baywatch, Beanie Babies, Susan Powter, Sweatin' To The Oldies, microbreweries, office cubicles, The Simpsons, Thighmaster, The Budweiser frogs, votive candles, Win Ben Stein's Money, NYPD Blues, " I'm not only the Hair Club President, I'm also a client.", Cartoon Network, 1-900 telephone numbers, Pokemon, CD Players, emoticons, Beverly Hills 90210, SuperCuts, Jurassic Park, bread machines, chat rooms, The Joy Luck Club.

The 00's still have three years left before being a complete decade, but it promises to be one of the most memorable. One thing that is sure to included and noteworhty in the 00's is the popularity of Blogging.

There are many important events, movies, TV shows, products, people, etc., not included in each of the above recaps of those decades. There were far too many things to mention for those eras that I could possibly mention and still keep this post from becoming too voluminous. ( I'm not a machine, Captain. I'm just a blogger. )
....I'm sure that as you traipse through all the nostalgia of the decades you remember, you'll come up with a lot that I haven't mentioned.

In 1 hour and 45 minutes, here in New England, 2006 will be a memory. I hope you enjoyed this little jog down my own personal memory lane.


No.848

-»The Old Man and the Secret «-

Every year at about this time the Old Man disappears. Maybe he's out on a bender. Perhaps he has an annual tryst. Wherever it is he goes, no one seems to know.

Then he returns, reemerging as an innocent babe. It maybe that he has found the most magic of all grails, that enigmatic Fountain of Youth that has beguiled man since time immemorial.

Old Man, why is that you forsake us? Can you not find it in your heart to invite us along on your yearly sojourn? Though the trek may be fraught with danger, would it not be wise to travel in the comfort and safety of numbers? Dare you not share your secret? Are you honor bound by some pact written in blood?

Your presence is felt until that penultimate date every December. In a mere trice you are transformed, your timeworn body in tattered robe transmuting into smooth tissue adorned in white raiment. Where once an old man hobbled with staff in hand, now crawls a mere babe.

Witnessing this transformation, I can now understand that eternal Riddle of the Sphinx. In the mornings of our lives we move on all fours. During the days we walk upright on two legs. Finally, in the evenings we move about with the aid of a cane to steady those legs. Yes, the answer sought by the Sphinx was mankind.

Weep not for the Old Man, instead, embrace the Child. Dwell not on what has transpired, but rejoice for the lives we have yet to experience. We must retain the lessons we have learned for they are the guideposts along the paths we must travel while on our journey.

Just who is that Old Man? Have you not solved for yourself the Riddle of the Sphinx? He is you. He is me. He is us. We tread upon the same path.

As you ponder on these words of an aging almost old man, take with you my wishes for a happy, healthy and memorable New Year.

No.847

...Aftermath

Aftermath n 1. a result or consequence; 2. when I had English class.

Pretty paper, pretty ribbons of blue;
Spread on the floor all about you;
All that money we surely did piss;
How in the hell we gonna pay for this?

The aftermath of Christmas in our living room is a scene that Currier & Ives would never have painted. The Christmas tree no longer stands over colorful packages, the landscape before it now a wasteland of dull boxes and torn paper. Why did we bother to take such great care when we wrapped them all?
....The next phase will begin soon enough when we begin to cull through the treasures, separating the keepers from those that will be returned or dare I say, re gifted?

....The money spent - the food consumed - the pounds gained ... these are the issues destined to headline our attention a few days hence. Yes, there is another list to be prepared. I like to refer to them as New Year's Revolutions, as opposed to Resolutions. In my case, I will surely overthrow the articles and mandates of said list and form my own by-laws for the coming year.
....I, who loathes failure, do hereby resolve to make no New Year's Resolutions! It's a full proof plan that I cannot possibly fail. I know this from experience, for it is the same resolution I made last year.

If I were to make some resolutions, I have to admit that I would "fix" the game. For example, for the New Year:

• I will watch what I eat. (Easy enough, I never close my eyes when eating.)
• I will not watch too many football games. (Luckily they don't broadcast too many.)
• I will eat less fatty and greasy foods. ( ...For midnight snacks.)
• I will not make hasty decisions. (I'll count to three first.)
• I will not spend more money than I make. ( The printing press is broken.)
• I will drink no wine before it's time. (One PM okay for you?)

Since I am getting primed for the New Year, I do believe a New Year's joke would suffice about now.

A Mexican, a Polish man, an African American, an Italian, a Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, a nun and Bill Clinton walk into a bar on New Year's Eve ...
....The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

The Beer Prayer: Our Lager, which art in barrels, hallowed be Thy drink; Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk at home as we are in the pub. Give us this day our foamy head, and forgive us our spillage, as we forgive those who spill upon us. And lead us not into incarceration, but deliver us from hangovers; for Thine is the beer, the bitter, and the Lager, forever and ever. Amen.

No.844