Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Light in the Refrigerator

~ Ah, the eternal mystery. The end all enigma! That which has baffled us since the invention of the box that houses it, still intrigues us today.
~ Sure, it has been said that the button in the door frame works just like the in a car door. That light in the car goes out, doesn't it? Well, we had to concede that one. However, there was the theory that after we were in bed, it would come back on.
~ So it was with the light in the refrigerator. No matter how many times or how fast we opened and closed that door, we knew, we just knew that that light was on on when the door was closed. That button on the frame? Sure it had a purpose, it was there to dim the light to conserve energy. We all knew that, why didn't our parents?
~ Many times we devised many experiments to prove what happened when the door closed. Of course, none of them worked. Then again, those experiments weren't complete failures, because they didn't prove that the light was out either. Over the years we heard of experiments that others had run. All attempts by one intelligent tester to make a then state-of-the-art Instamatic camera operate within the fridge proved fruitless. As equally ineffective were periscopes and strategically placed mirrors.
~ The evolution from youth to adulthood did little to dissuade my efforts through the years. Since becoming older and expected to be responsible, the experiments were run less frequently but no less covertly.
~ My most recent venture to solve the mystery has found me studying clues that are beyond the laws of science as we know them. Until now, I have been reluctant to release the results of those studies. My wife already thinks I am a screwball, so there is no need to throw gasoline on the fire.
~ The first incident occurred the morning after Thanksgiving. At first I dismissed the broken toothpicks and the strange lines on the mashed potatoes one shelf above the olives. I also ignored the curious ball-shaped pieces of the potatoes on the other shelves. Obviously, I thought at the time, the pieces of potato balls, scattered peas, and broken and missing toothpicks had been jostled there when the leftovers had been put away.
~ Subsequent trips to the refrigerator presented me with further questions. I began to inventory the contents and chart their locations. I guess it was the toothpicks with green cellophane tips that had appeared sticking from the remnants of the turkey. What made me realize that there was design in their arrangement? It didn't matter. I was convinced that those green tipped toothpicks were trees "growing" on the side of a hill that was the turkey. Those bits of mashed potatoes were now topped with a second smaller ball. Someone, or something was building tiny snowmen! The lines in the bowl of mashed potatoes were beyond a doubt the tracks formed when the spuds were rolled into balls. On the other side of the turkey I discovered the other half of the broken toothpicks. They were stuck into the turkey forming a vertical ...ladder?
~ All those wasted moments through all the wasted months and years! We had concentrated so intensely on the light itself, we never noticed what was going on with the contents stored inside. Anything found out of place had been assumed to be spillage by someone else.
~ What a brilliant cover! They had been using the light to shield their mission, a distraction to keep us in the dark. Oh by the way, the light was on all the time! How do you suppose they could see what they were doing? They might have kept us there, but they certainly couldn't work in the dark.
~ Without tipping my hand, I have continued to observe and to note any and all anomalies. I have determined that the button has two functions. Not only does it create the illusion that the light is extinguished, it must also be some kind of signal at a high frequency beyond our range of hearing. That would explain why I have never seen or caught a glimpse of them, the signal alerting them that the door was opening.
~ My powers of deduction have me prepared to face the possibility that the trees, ladders, and snowmen are in fact red herrings. If they are clever enough to avoid detection for so long, then it should be of no surprise that they are smart enough to disguise there work in any number of ways. Take for example those food items that have spoiled in there. We have been throwing away possible evidence all along! On the other hand, we just might be playing right into their grand scheme of things. We might be actually transporting elements crucial to their plans. We have been depositing these substances in common areas for decades. If what I have discovered in my refrigerator, is going on in all the refrigerators, I can only imagine what is happening in our city dumps.
~ I have making taped observations, and each tape has been stored in secure place. In a safe deposit box there are instructions to find those tapes.
~ I have decided to reveal my research, such as it is, here in this forum. At least I am assured that others will be informed and something will have survived me. If something should happen to me, it is up to you out there. Someone will have to continue my work. I can only hope that my discoveries will eventually lead to the secret of their plans. I might just be earth's only hope. The next time you open your refrigerator, be observant. Pay attention to details!
~ The truth is in there!
~No. 49

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