Wednesday, February 23, 2005

No Deposit, No Return

~ Do we ever really read everything before we sign it? Sometimes we just want to get it home. We want to make sure it operates properly. We don't want damaged goods. We want it complete with no missing parts. The neighbors have one or two, but we think ours is better. We might as well put up a sign to announce we have a brand new one.
~ We are pleased that the neighbors are envious. We are happy to oblige them when they ask to see it, but only at our convenience. After all it is ours and we want to enjoy it. They have some of their own, but they are later models. We intend to take care of it. We want it to last a long time.
~ It is only after you have brought it home and gotten acclimated to it, that you finally take the oppurtunity to go over the paperwork that came with it. It is then that discover that it requires a lot peripheries that weren't included in the package. You wonder now what you agreed to, or should have agreed to.
~ No Deposit, No Return: The bold font causes you to think. You have no plans to return it, but there was a deposit of sorts.
~ Not Responsible For Manufacturer's Defects: Thankfully you did not settle for the floor model. So far you have no defects.
~ No Warranty: That sounds right. There are no guarantees with this product. Why should the manufacturer be responsible for abuse of the product?
~ Batteries Not Included: You got the fully charged one. Replenishing its power has been no problem.
~ You shuffle through the paperwork, scanning both sides to find the English translations. Having looked at each page you are dismayed to find that there is no instruction manual. Even a trouble sheet could prove useful from time to time should problems arise.
~ We have had ours almost 31 years now. There has been virtually no problems. We had had a lot of joy in those three plus decades. We never had an instruction manual. We never had a warranty. We never once considered a trade-in or an update. We never needed to.
~ No, babies don't come with manuals or a warranty. There are no guarantees for performance. Yes, they are high maintenance, especially in the early years. They drastically change your lifestyle. They give you love in return for the love you give them.
~ Our baby will be getting married soon. We knew the day would come when she would leave home. We haven't lost her, we know. The years with us were the "K through twelve" of her life. We have prepared her for the "college" of the rest of her life.
~ No deposit, no return? Batteries not included? So what? It didn't hurt us or her one bit. On that you can have a lifetime guarantee.
~No. 50
Johnny Carson
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