Sunday, April 10, 2005

Royal Flush

~ The world's richest welfare family has center stage once again. Once again they are on the front page instead of on the comic pages. If I want news, I read the front page. If I want laughs I go to the comics. This stuff isn't made up folks, it's all happening now in a continuing Vaudevillian routine.
~ The tabloid, the Daily Mirror led the way in England with a banner headline, "We Have Sinned" over a picture of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles. The photo depicted them with devil horns.
~ At last Charlie Boy has wed his true love of thirty-five years. (Proof positive that love is blind.) Now he can ride his former riding instructor of into the sunset. Wouldn't it be ironic that that first night in the stable might have saddled her with him for life?
~ I think Chuckie's favorite song must contain the lyrics "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife." He certainly heeded those word to the letter! For that matter, she didn't exactly hit the jackpot either. Better them, but just think they have to wake up each morning and face each other. (Shudder!) I guess if misery loves company, this marriage will probably work out.
~ Such is life if you happen to be a member of the Royals in the British Empire. Whether or not, it can still be called an empire is subject to debate. Also debatable is just exactly what useful function does a monarchial family offer to a Kingdom that is no longer a kingdom? I suppose being supported by the English citizens is a purpose of sorts.
~ Across the pond, the "Royal subjects have been preparing for this wedding, which was postponed one day so it would not conflict with the funeral services of Pope John Paul II . More than likely, it was rescheduled so it would not have to share the spotlight with Rome. Far be it for them not to dominate the press!
~ The service had 800 guests, and what dressy affair would be complete without Joan Rivers to critique what everyone was wearing? I'll bet she gives high marks for Chuckie's gams bared by macho kilt. No one ever accused Joan of having exquisite taste for style. Windsor Castle was the scene as the couple confessed to "manifold sins and wickedness" from the Book of Common Prayer. Although there is no reference to adultery or other specific misdeeds, such confessions are standard in Anglican wedding blessings.
~ I am musing for a moment over "manifold sins and wickedness." It kind of sounds like a redneck traffic violation doesn't it? "Let's see, a noisy exhaust system and speeding, Billy Bob. I gotta give you a ticket for manifold sins and wickedness."
~ Forgetting that Charles let a marriage to a very beautiful Diana fall apart for his love for a commoner, he is still just a man imprisoned in a world of royalty, a world into which he was born. Obviously not King material, nonetheless that is the path he must walk.
~ I am try to look at the whole thing from Camilla's point of view. As the Brits would say, she has been shagging a future king for thirty-five years. I wonder if she even thought about into what she's going to step? Will she ever be or want to be a part of the Family?
~ Let's see, for the holidays she'll have to face a Queen who has twice recently snubbed her and has resented her for three decades. She'll have two spoiled step sons in William and Harry. How much dutiful maternal advice can she offer those two brats? I wonder if she will get along with the estranged sister-in-law, Fergie?
~ Let's say Charles wants to have a cookout. While he stands over the barbie, she can entertain Colin Firth, Jude Law, Hugh Grant, and John Cleese. She might wonder if Elton John will show up in his Donald Duck suit.. Despite her marriage to Charles, will she be able to deal with J.K. Rowling who will be richer than her?
~ Good luck Camilla, your trials and tribulations with the Welfare Elite have only just begun. Was all that sneaking around, you on your husband and he on his wife, worth it? Even if the people don't want you be the Queen, you will be accepted eventually. One thing is certain. The tabloids won't be in danger of going out of business. You are a star, you are someone! Don't worry about us on the left side of the pond. We don't believe in Queens!
~ No.103

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