Saturday, April 09, 2005

To Whom It May Concern

This is to thank you for the recent banquet held in honor of the contributions made to the City Park Commission. Since your drive began last fall, the improvements to the city"s numerous parks will be long overdue. It was a wonderful write up that appeared in last week's town newspaper, covering the night held at the Country Club. The numerous photographs of the evening's festivities were well placed and featured shots of everyone in attendance.
~ I was especially surprised at the picture of myself and my wife standing next to Hizzoner the Mayor and his wife. The spread of food upon all the tables was magnificent. It appears hat the city spared no expense. The band was very good and had an impressive repetoire of songs old and new.
~ I am anxious to see the video that was shot during the affair. I am hoping that you will announce soon when it will air on our local cable access channel. Perhaps you can show it on the same evening you air the Flower and Garden Clubs trip to Holland last month. I am afraid that I must have missed out on the raffle drawing. The 2005 Lexus sedan was certainly a fantastic prize.
~ Although I'm sure there was no alcoholic beverages served, I must have had a good time as I can remember nothing of the night. I must have paid cash, because I can find no check drawn from my account for the five hundred dollar a plate meal.
~ It turns out that neither my wife nor I were in attendance. In fact, we weren't even invited, as the invitations were only for those who had made donations of a thousand dollars or more to the charity drive. That photograph with the Mayor and his wife was not of us. Who those people are, I think I know. The couple strangely enough had a striking resemblance to the Mayor's brother and sister-in-law.
~ Now I find myself at odds wondering about the contributions of those who were in fact there and just where those moneys were directed. It had been announced several weeks ago that the city had exceeded their goal. I can only assume that the funds used for the band, the food, the videographer, and the Country Club, were but a minute part of what was taken in.
~ Once again, I appreciate you for recognizing us. However, as you are certain we were there, I must renege on our contribution. You can return or better still issue a check to us and remit it forthwith.
~ It is not everyday that we are not invited to an affair and thanked for our attendance. It is not every day that a park is renovated by the removal of its lighting. Is it everyday that the Mayor's brother is the caterer of the food costing about five dollars that is sold for five hundred dollars? It is not everyday that a picture not of us has us paired with the Mayor and his wife. It is not everyday that we don't make a contribution, and yet get cited for our generous donation.
~ But then again, it is not everyday that we get to request money to be returned without giving anything! It is not everyday that we learn we won the car which the Mayor's brother and sister-in-law are now driving. Is it everyday that we must enclose a bill for the tax liability for said car that was sent to us for a car we never received? I'm sure that the clerks in City Hall can re-direct said liability to the registered owners of said vehicle.
~ While I look at the unlit park gather litter, host the teens' drinking binges, and provide asylum for the local gang, let me extend kudos to the wonderful thought our city has put into these parks.
~ Perhaps in your next charity drive, you will forgo the banquet and door prizes, and use some of the funds to pay for the unpaid parking tickets for a certain new Lexus. I'm sure it is a mistake that the warrants are being sent to my address.
~ Like most people of the city I make sure that my taxes are paid in exchange for fair city management. When you manage to manage it, I will manage to manage to reconsider my votes in the up-coming elections.

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